Men Made For More Podcast Episode 106: Living Life On PurposeDec 08, 2020
Do you ever feel like life is just happening to you rather than you taking charge of your life? Do you find another week going by without the meaningful progress you’re striving for across all key areas of your life? If you feel reactive to all that life is throwing at you and you’re finding a hard time being proactive - you’re not alone. At Men Made For More Coaching, we help guys looking to level up their lives start to live a life that’s on purpose - a life that’s by design. This has to be proactive, it has to be intentional, and you have to hold yourself accountable to do this day in and day out. Listen up today to learn some strategies for how to start living a life that’s on purpose.
Are you looking for more accountability and guidance to level up your life and finally live out your highest potential across all areas of your life? Most guys have the ability to do big things, they’re just missing some structure to make it happen. If that sounds like you, I’d love to talk with you. Head on over to https://www.menmadeformore.com/apply to request a free strategy session to help you identify your biggest barriers keeping you from the life you want to live.
Men Made For More Podcast Episode 106: Living Life On Purpose
[00:00:00] Dave: Welcome to the Men Made For More podcast, a show designed by men for men. Looking to get strong, feel confident and live a high performing life. And we face many challenges as we try and strive for better life. Want to live a meaningful and confident life, but don't know where to start. You've lost your physical and mental edge.
[00:00:18] That's keeping you from living out your full potential. You're tired of talking about doing big things and you're ready to start living it, but the men made for more podcast. Our goal is to teach you how to strengthen your body, your mind, and your purpose. On your way to reaching your full potential.
[00:00:34] It's time to start living as a man. You know, you can be to help lift up those that matter most in your life. In this podcast, we'll leave no stone unturned as to what it takes to get out of your comfort zone and step into living a strong, competent, and high-performing life. We'll focus on the topics that matter most for helping you develop into the man you were made to be.
[00:00:52] And Colson not only build strong men physically, but to help coach and develop strong friends, sons, brothers, fathers, isn't [00:01:00] owners, and professionals in every area of your life. I'm your host, Dr. Dave Paczkowski, proud husband, business owner, physical therapist and strength coach with a passion for helping other men strengthen their body, their mind, and their purpose, wherever you're at in your journey from member that you're made for more.
[00:01:16] I'm excited to have you here with us today and let's dive into today's episode of the men made for more podcasts. What's up guys, welcome to the show today. We're talking about living a life on purpose or life by design, and we're talking about what that means and why it's so important. And if you ever feel like life's just happening to you rather than you taking charge of your life, or if you find another week going by without the meaningful progress you're striving for across all of these key areas of your life.
[00:01:46]Or if you're just reactive to all that life is throwing at you and you're finding it hard to be proactive, to take charge, to live that life out by design that life you want to live. You're not alone. And, and men made for more [00:02:00] coaching. I see it all the time with the guys I work with, they're trying to level up their lives.
[00:02:04] They're trying to start living a life. That's on purpose, a life that's by design, but they might be lacking the structure or the accountability or the community to be able to do that. And this process has to be proactive. It has to be intentional and you have to hold yourself accountable to do this day in and day out.
[00:02:22] This isn't a one-time thing. This isn't a do it once. Set your mind to it, new year's resolution. And off we go. This is something that's daily habits, daily doses of that every single day, little bit at a time that ends up leading to massive results over time. So listen up today. I want to talk through some practical strategies you can do to start living a life.
[00:02:44] That's on purpose now, like I talked about. Most guys are find themselves, just letting life just, just happen. How many of you guys know, uh, a day that's gone by a week, that's gone by some, sometimes, probably a month has gone by [00:03:00] and you're like, man, where did that? Where did that time even go? The day just sort of happened and all the things that I wanted to do, you came in with a plan maybe.
[00:03:10] And. At the end of the day, you look back and you're like, wow, I really got caught up in email and social media and some other people, you know, other things had to get done at work. And I think it's happened with my spouse or my kids. And all of a sudden these things creep in and a day goes by. And, you know, that's, that's harmless on the, the grand scheme of things.
[00:03:29] Those days are gonna happen where it doesn't, it doesn't end up happening quite the way that we draw it up. But if this happens every day for a week and those weeks become months, and those months become years, then all of a sudden the people I talked to years have gone by and there, there may be not in the kind of shape they want to be in.
[00:03:49] Their energy is low. They're having a hard time with their health, maybe for some people their career or their business, hasn't taken off quite the way they want it to. Maybe for others, they're, you [00:04:00] know, still struggling financially and, uh, you know, having, having a hard time getting, getting over that hump, or maybe it's in, in relationships, in, uh, you know, friendships and community, you're just, you're not showing up in the ways that you need to, and you continue to deal with, uh, anxiety or, you know, forms of depression or, you know, anger, frustration with, uh, with where you're at and the people around you and all these things are, are normal because.
[00:04:26] They, they creep in so slowly and they're, they're not ideal. They're, uh, you know, they are the norm, but that doesn't mean you can't reverse these things. It just takes a little more awareness first and foremost, and then a plan, some structure to, okay. I know these things are going on. I know I'm reacting this way that I don't want to.
[00:04:44] I know I'm not prioritizing these key areas that I need to. But what do I do to actually do it? Because we have these great intentions, but we don't actually follow through on the structure behind it then of, okay. I want to, I want to show up as, as this [00:05:00] better husband as this better friend, I want to show up in my health and get my workouts in and say, my health is important the way that I need to, but then days go by and it just doesn't happen.
[00:05:10] Now living a life on purpose is, is the flip side of that. This is, you know, the few things I jotted down when I was, when I was, uh, taking notes for this is it's living a life that's true to you. It's living a life. That's a, it's not what other people feel you need to be doing, or it's not what maybe even you feel like you need to be doing, uh, true to you.
[00:05:29] This alignment in terms of being authentic to who you are is one of the most important things when it comes to. Living life on purpose, because if you're doing it for someone else, even if you're doing it for what you feel like you need to be doing, what your parents feel like you need to be doing, what friends feel like you need to be doing a spouse, even.
[00:05:48] That is that's, uh, gonna Rob you of happiness. It's going to Rob you a fulfillment because you're trying to live with someone that you're not meant to be. And you're trying to do things that [00:06:00] maybe aren't quite, you know, the passions that you have and are aren't quite the things that you want to be doing.
[00:06:04] So that's the first thing to live life on purpose. You need to live true to you. A second thing is you need to be in alignment with what's most important. And the sum this one up briefly is your actions need to match your values. Your actions need to match your values. So if you say you value health, then your actions need to follow up with that.
[00:06:26] You need to be someone who doesn't miss workouts. You need to be someone who chooses healthy, eating over. Other, you know, bingeing or snacks or drinks or those things, and this isn't a hundred percent of the time thing, but in general, you can't be the person that says you value health and then regularly misses workouts regularly eat fast food and does things that aren't in alignment with that, you know, same thing.
[00:06:52] If you. Uh, if, if your values are your relationships, then you need to make sure that your actions in your [00:07:00] schedule reflect those things. You can't say you value your relationships with their family, and then go hang out with friends, go do other hobbies, take, take trips with the guys and expect your, your marriage and your kids to feel, you know, feel loved, feel welcome.
[00:07:15] So that's, that's a big thing, whatever area of your life, you can apply this. What do you value and look at, look at your actions. Look at your schedule. Doesn't match up with that. Third thing is intentionally moving closer to the ideal version of yourself. And this comes down to habits more than anything.
[00:07:32] These tiny steps daily can create massive change over time. So you have to first identify what that ideal version of yourself is across all the areas of your life that are most important. And then you have to take daily votes daily steps to achieve that. Now again, using the example of health, if maybe you're not in the health, you want to be that's okay.
[00:07:53] But if you find out that this is what I value, this is how I want to start taking action towards, then [00:08:00] it just becomes a matter of, okay, how do I. How do I make sure that I'm regularly getting my workouts? And how do I make sure that I'm, I'm taking these votes for the healthy person that I want to be, and it might not seem like you're making much progress at first, but the power with habits is that over time, incredible momentum, uh, incredible momentum will be built up and you'll see that change over time.
[00:08:20] You'll see that by consistently getting to it. Now, like I said, if you don't follow this, if you don't, uh, you know, have this degree of, of being true to you, be in alignment with what's most important and intentionally moving closer to the ideal version of yourself, then that's where, and I know this because I've been there personally and I've talked to, I've talked to a lot of guys that I've gotten to work with that have also been through this.
[00:08:44] Days will go by weeks will go by months and even years will pass by and you'll look back disappointed on untapped potential on things that you wish you would have done and regrets. And that's, that's one of the worst places to be. And that doesn't mean that [00:09:00] it's final there's it's never too late to make a change no matter where you're at in your life, no matter what stage, no matter what age, it doesn't matter.
[00:09:06] You can make the change right now today. But it starts with, it starts with, uh, some more awareness around it. And it starts with a little more structure. Now, before we get into the actual steps of this, I say, I can relate to this because I personally went through this, uh, especially when, um, my wife and I moved out to San Diego, I was trying to start a business, was we were newly married, was trying to figure out all these, these new roles and these things I needed to be doing.
[00:09:35] But we were lacking two major things, lacking community. And lacking accountability. So community, we were new to the area. We didn't have a support system in place. I didn't know what it would have meant to be a man, essentially, a be a, be a husband, be, be a leader because I had never done that role before.
[00:09:54] And I observed it in, you know, my parents, thankfully they have a good [00:10:00] example of, uh, a good marriage and friends, but in the time of actually being in it, we didn't have other. Married couples. We were regularly surrounding ourselves with that were, uh, you know, pouring, pouring life into us and being an example of, of what it looks like to, to live that kind of marriage.
[00:10:16] And I know the difference because when we, when we did do that, when we did start surrounding ourselves around. People that we knew could help us with our marriage. It worked wonders in terms of our communication and how our relationship was able to grow. But before that, man, it's, it's tough. If you don't have community around you, if you're trying to do it all on your own and trying to figure out what this looks like on your own, it makes it really tough.
[00:10:42] And the second piece though, I was lacking accountability and I think this comes with community. If you have the right community around you, this tends to happen. But, uh, this was before I started working with. Uh, I started seeking out help with, with other coaches before I started, uh, seeking out, you know, both formal and informal help [00:11:00] in terms of, Hey, this is what I'm, this is what I want to do.
[00:11:03] This is again, our ideal version of myself. This is what I want. This is how I see myself living personally. This is where I want to be in business. This is, these are the areas of my life that are most important, but if I don't have accountability, then. Weeks go by. And I'm like, okay, well, it doesn't matter because no, one's really checking in on me.
[00:11:22] And I think I'm doing a little better, but accountability is someone being able to guide you and also make sure that you're following through on what you say is important. If I say all these things are important, but weeks go by and I'm in the exact same spot, then I'm not making progress. I'm not being accountable to myself or to others.
[00:11:40] So that's my own personal story that, uh, I, I know, I know how. Easy. It is to just get kind of pin balled around. That's how I picture it. Some and it still happens for some days where, uh, just, you know, a couple of weeks in, in November, even we were, you know, we had a couple launches coming up with, with black Friday and, uh, we're switching our, our website [00:12:00] over in some things and all of a sudden.
[00:12:02] I just got like bounced around. I was just so reactive to everything going on. I was talking with Lindsay about it. I'm like, man, these two weeks just seemed like they just came and went and I don't feel like I got any meaningful stuff done. I got, you know, I got my to-do list down to the things that were on my plate, but in terms of actually making meaningful progress, did I progress personally?
[00:12:21] Did I progress spiritually in our relationship, in my health and those things, and it was. You know, kind of, uh, uh, probably in some ways, but we need to be doing better than probably we need to be making those big strides forward to make that progress that we need to now with coaching clients I work with, I see this all the time.
[00:12:41] These simple strategies are going to talk about here in a few minutes. I can't even begin to tell you the massive shifts and the massive improvements. This makes across all areas of their life with just a little bit of structure and a little bit of accountability. And these things work wonders for moving you towards that life.
[00:12:57] That's that's by design and that's just [00:13:00] because. When we regularly make these things important, we make them a priority when we're aware of them in terms of where we're currently at. And this is without shame without guilt of just taking inventory of this is where I'm at. This is how I'd rank these areas in my life.
[00:13:15] This is how I feel like I'm living in these areas. And then we see the ideal version and we just start to close the gap on it. We don't get overwhelmed. We say, okay, this is where you want to be. This is where you are. What little steps, what habits can we create that will bridge the gap on that, that will get you towards that area that you want to be.
[00:13:36] And yeah, I don't want to get into, I don't want to jump around too much cause I have a fi five things that want to talk. You talk with you guys about some actionable things. Strategies that you can use five things to think about when trying to live a life that's on purpose and let's, let's get right into these because these are the things that are gonna take you from just feeling reactive, feeling like you're bouncing around, feeling like life's just throwing things at you [00:14:00] to living a life that's by design.
[00:14:02] That's moving closer to that ideal version of yourself that we talked about earlier. So first thing is define what's important. I talk about this a lot. If you don't know where you're going, then it's going to be really hard to get to that ideal version. So you have to first know what, what is it that's really important.
[00:14:19] And I would encourage you to do this across all the areas. So find all the areas that are important for you. It's going to be different person to person for me, some of those areas, uh, spiritually relationships and especially relationships with, uh, with Lindsey, with future family. Uh, my mental and emotional health, my physical health, and then also career business finance.
[00:14:44] I kind of lump those into one. You can, you can make as many categories as you want, or you can try and condense these down, but, uh, group these categories together and find out which of those areas are important for other people. You know, some people are really going to value. Physical health and relationships while other people are [00:15:00] going to value more, you know, spiritual and mental health.
[00:15:02] And there's no right answer. It's, what's most important to you. And once you've identified those areas that are important, then within each area, you need to determine, okay, what, what is really important within each of these areas? Physical health. Let's use that as an example, because. You might say, Hey, physical health is important to me.
[00:15:22] And for some people that might be some people are like, Hey, I want to be able to squat 400 pounds. I want to have a sub 10% body fat. I want to be able to run this time. I want to be able to do this thing. I want my body to be able to perform at a high level compete in these races. That might be someone's definition of fiscal health, where the next person, a lot of people I talked to, you know, these are guys with that are.
[00:15:45] Owned businesses that are in busy careers that are trying to stay healthy, but that type goal of competing and being super fit is not what's important to them. They're like, Hey, I want, I want energy. I don't want to be yawning and feeling a [00:16:00] mid day crash and reaching for the third cup of coffee. I want to look, look fairly good.
[00:16:05] I want to be confident in my body. And I want to feel good. I don't want to have joint pain. I don't want to be achy. I want to be able to go on a hike with friends to be able to do these things with family, play with my kids. And none of those definitions are right or wrong. It's finding what within each of those areas though, is the most important, because once you have that, then you can start to lay out a plan to do that.
[00:16:27] So that's the first thing define what's important. Second thing before adding anything in, see what needs to be removed. We can't say yes to everything, but once you know what matters most, and that's why defining what's important is a key first step. Then you can start saying no to the things that aren't moving you there.
[00:16:45] Now the problem, and I'll be completely honest with you. The problem about living a life that's on purpose that's by design is that you're going to have to say no to some good things for a lot of guys I work with, it's not a matter of, of choosing between a really [00:17:00] great thing and a lousy thing. We think those decisions are pretty easy.
[00:17:04] It's usually like, Hey, here's where I really want to be, but there's also this really good opportunity or thing or something I enjoy. And it gets tricky. That's, you know, that's something that. I've had long conversations with guys on, on trying to talk through. Okay, well, what's, you know, what really is most important and what's, cause these are two things that are, are there, do we just need to hold off on one for now and pursue this one?
[00:17:29] Can we pursue both those and that it does get tricky because when choosing between two good things, it's not easy because you have to say no to one of those things and, uh, Sometimes you do. And sometimes that's, uh, sometimes you can pursue both, but either way, it's never, it's never fun to have, to make those decisions between two things that are really good, but it is essential to learn how to say no to the things that don't, don't move you closer to the, to there.
[00:17:54] If you value your family, if you value your health, your spiritual relationships, your [00:18:00] friendships, and your career and your finances, you just simply, there's not enough hours in your day to completely devote to all these things. Now I would argue that at times we need to get a little out of balance to push one, one area further and faster, and then bringing it back into balance to, uh, to allow yourself to, I live with more fulfillment, but that's, uh, that's something you have to work through individually, but regardless there is going to require some saying no.
[00:18:29] That's the second thing. Third thing is starting to develop those championship habits we were talking about. So what championship habits can we develop that will be these daily, weekly rhythms and habits that you can implement that will move you closer to that life of design. Now you look at, uh, the championship teams out there.
[00:18:50] They are they're riddled with, with good championship habits. When, when the right coaches in place, when the right environments in place, and these right habits are in place, then [00:19:00] it's, you're not winning a championship on, on day one, but you are making that consistent step. You're not missing days. You're identifying what's most important.
[00:19:10] And then you're moving closer to that. So once you identify what those habits are, then it's just a matter of following through on those day in and day out. Fourth thing you need to regularly review and adjust. Now, if you're not, if you don't have a process in place to regularly review and ask a couple of things, say, how am I doing.
[00:19:31] Am I closer to where I want to be than I was the week before. Where am I struggling? Where am I blind spots? Maybe what are the things I'm not seeing? And you know what things are going well as well? Don't, it's not always a negative review. It could be, Hey, I had a really good week. I'm, you know, I, I moved forward in all these areas and this is what went well.
[00:19:49] I, I followed through on my habits. I did this and I get weeks like that sometimes. And then I get weeks like. A couple of weeks ago, like I was subscribing and it's like, man, I don't really feel like [00:20:00] I made much progress in any of these things. But the simple awareness of it, the process of reviewing those things are what creates the major changes over time.
[00:20:11] Because if you're not aware of it, if you have those blind spots, then those weeks go by and you're, you might think you're doing okay. And then all of a sudden. Your relationship isn't as good as you want. You're like w what really happened with that? I don't, there wasn't anything. I, I really, there wasn't one thing I did.
[00:20:28] We didn't get in a big fight or anything, or maybe, you know, finances, aren't where they want to be, or all of a sudden your physical health, your weight creeped up, and you're winded walking up the stairs. These things don't happen in a day. These things don't happen in a week. These things are compounding over time.
[00:20:45] And the way to defeat that, the way to catch that is having a formal process in place to regularly review and adjust. Fifth thing I want to talk about. In terms of living this life, that's on purpose by design is surround yourself with [00:21:00] like-minded people. I cannot emphasize this one enough because I tried doing it on my own and I failed miserably.
[00:21:05] I crashed and burned. I, I, uh, wasted time. I've had a lot of frustration. There's no such thing as a self-made man. So find people in the areas that you need the most help in and have them hold you accountable. And this can be formal through hiring a coach. This could be informal through, uh, just seeking out.
[00:21:24] Mentors or people in those areas that you want to improve in, but it, it requires you to identify again, that's where all these, these, uh, strategies come into play is okay. You've identified, what's important. You've said no to the things that, that clearly aren't, you have some habits in place. You have a process you're reviewing and adjusting.
[00:21:42] And in that process, you say, Hey, I continue to struggle with my response to this, or I continue to have this. Limiting belief or I'm just stuck. I don't know where to go in my business. I don't know where to go in my health. Um, I, I keep running into this wall and that's where this last piece comes in is you say, [00:22:00] okay, I need to seek out someone who can help me with following through on these habits, who can help me in my marriage, who can help me in my health, take some of these things off your plate.
[00:22:10] If you're trying to do all these things, getting, uh, getting people that are in your corner that can help you. Can save you a lot of time, a lot of frustration and can help get you to where you want to be faster. And that comes with awareness first, but once you've identified that that community is so powerful.
[00:22:27] So just to recap real quick, uh, some strategies we talked about those five strategies define what's important before adding anything in, see what needs to be re removed, develop championship habits regularly review just the plan and have a process for this. And the last thing. Surround yourself with like-minded people.
[00:22:46] Now, those things guys that's, uh, it's, it's simple. No one ever, no one ever said it had to be complicated. I know these things, aren't, aren't groundbreaking these things aren't, uh, you know, for some that these might be totally new things, but for a lot of people that you might be [00:23:00] saying, Hey, yeah, I've, I've heard this stuff before.
[00:23:03] Now is the time do you actually fall through on it to implement it? And the people that say I've heard this before, but I'm still not where I want to be. That probably means you're lacking structure. And that probably means you're lacking accountability. Now this is new to you. And you're like, wow. I never thought about even identifying these things and figuring out where I want to go start there, be more intentional about it.
[00:23:27] But for those of you that are saying, Hey, I've heard this before, but I'm still not where I want to be in this area or this one. Then you need to find some kind of system, some kind of process that gives you that structure and then find ways to hold yourself accountable. So it starts internally, but then if you need it, find an external community as well.
[00:23:44] People that can make sure you're staying accountable and make sure you're getting there because life's too important to just. Uh, just kind of, you know, let the, let the tides take you wherever it's, it's too important to just let life happen to you. You gotta take charge of it. You gotta start living life.
[00:23:59] That's by design [00:24:00] and that's not going to happen if you just, uh, if you just wait for it, you know, the people that you see that are most successful, most fulfilled, most passionate about something, it isn't by accident. I can tell you that much I've been, I've been around these people, um, you know, striving to.
[00:24:16] Be like that person myself. Um, I'm in process. I'm, I'm nowhere near being all the way there, but the help of other people, the help of coaches, the help of these people that have helped me work towards that has, has worked wonders because I can tell you it's not by accident and they have habits in place.
[00:24:31] They have process in place that are they're regularly reviewing, reflecting on these things and staying intentional about which way to head. So. Guys, that's a, that's a lot to take and run with, but I encourage you guys to do that because I've seen it. I see it every day that when people implement these things, when they take these strategies and run with them, good things happen.
[00:24:53] So guys enjoy that. Take it don't just listen to it and skip to the next podcast. Step [00:25:00] back, you know, take some notes down, actually write these things out and form a plan to help you get to that life that you want to be living. Now, if you guys do need a little more help with this, I would love to chat with you guys.
[00:25:09] There's a link there in the show notes. It's, uh, it it's for a website. There's an application form. If you are interested in a formal coaching process, even if you're not, you can fill out that form and, uh, Offer a free strategy session for each person that fills that out. So if that's something you guys are interested in, if you're either interested in hearing more about how coaching can help you, or if you're just like, Hey, I just, I, something struck a chord with me and I just want to talk through some of these things.
[00:25:36] I'm, um, I'm good on this, but I'm having problems on this. If you guys find yourself in that situation, go and fill out a form on there. We'd love to get on the phone with you guys and just talk more about what your goals are and help identify any barriers or challenges you're having to help get to that next level, because the more you can.
[00:25:54] Where you can elevate your own life and, uh, you know, form these habits show up as a better person. It [00:26:00] directly reflects the other people that are most important in our lives. As we elevate our own lives, we elevate the lives of those around us, and it starts with social with us. If we can't lead ourselves, it's going to be really hard to lead others.
[00:26:10] So make sure you guys are working at this, make sure that you are replaying this. Listen to it again. If you need to take some notes, write these things out and, um, Just go show up, guys, raise your standard because it's going to be something that you'll thank yourself for and that other people around you are going to, uh, be, uh, very excited for you as well.
[00:26:31] When you start to live, live a life that's that's on purpose and live their life. That's by design. So guys, I appreciate all you guys listening in. I love you guys. And as always, if you need anything, make sure to reach out. If you do want to talk more, go ahead and fill out a thought the form through that link in the show notes and looking forward to talking with you guys on there.
[00:26:51] All right, guys, keep it up. Keep encouraged. And uh, we'll talk to you all very soon.
[00:26:57][00:27:00] Thanks so much for listening to today's episode of the man-made for more podcasts, hope you found today's show valuable, and you have some actionable strategies you can apply to your life today. This is your first time listening. Thanks for being here. The aim of this podcast is to provide a ton of the best possible content to help you grow in your journey, to becoming the best version of yourself.
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[00:27:34] I can't thank you enough for investing in yourself in the show. Please make sure to share this with a friend or post on social media and tag me with your favorite part from today's show. If you haven't already make sure to join the men made for more Facebook group to be a part of a community of like-minded men that are elevating their game and living for more by searching men made for more on Facebook.
[00:27:54] Keep challenging yourself growing and know that it's okay to get out of your comfort zone and know that you're made for [00:28:00] more. Thanks for listening and see you guys soon.
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