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Men Made For More Episode 104: Want More Out Of Your Life? Give More.

mindset Dec 01, 2020

So often when we strive for high performance, a meaningful life, and bettering ourselves - we lose sight of one important ingredient: service. Self-improvement and working on yourself is great, and necessary, when it comes to being the best version of yourself and showing up for others. But if you’re always working on yourself, and not giving back your time, talents, and resources - you’ll lose important growth opportunities and lose sight of what matters most. Listen up today to learn how to get more out of your life by giving more of yourself.

Looking to give back? I’d love to how this community is giving back. Let me know how you’re going to serve someone in your life by shooting me a message on Instagram @iostrengthperformance

Listen to this episode on your favorite podcast app click HERE 

Men Made For More Episode 104: Want More Out Of Your Life? Give More.

[00:00:00] Dave: Welcome to the Men Made For More podcast, a show designed by men for men looking to get strong, feel confident and live a high performing life. As men, we face many challenges as we try and strive for better life. Want to live a meaningful and confident life, but don't know where to start. You've lost your physical and mental edge.

[00:00:18] That's keeping you from living out your full potential. You're tired of talking about doing big things and you're ready to start living it, but the men made for more podcast. Our goal is to teach you how to strengthen your body, your mind, and your purpose on your way to reaching your full potential.

[00:00:34] It's time to start living as a man. You know, you can be to help lift up those that matter most in your life. In this podcast, we'll leave no stone unturned as to what it takes to get out of your comfort zone and step into living a strong, competent, and high-performing life. We'll focus on the topics that matter most for helping you develop into the man you were made to be.

[00:00:52] And our goal is to not only build strong men physically,but to help coach and develop strong friends, sons, brothers, fathers, business [00:01:00] owners, and professionals in every area of your life. I'm your host, Dr. Dave Paczkowski, proud husband, business owner, physical therapist and strength coach with a passion for helping other men strengthen their body, their mind, and their purpose, wherever you're at in your journey from member that you're made for more.

[00:01:16] I'm excited to have you here with us today and let's dive into today's episode of the Men Made For More podcast.

[00:01:24] What's up guys, welcome to the show today. We're going to be talking all about how to actually get more by giving more of ourselves. And I know we get caught in the, the self-improvement journey, the self-development that trying to better ourselves. And I fall into this a lot. But often when we strive for high performance, when we strive for a meaningful life, when we strive for better in ourselves, we can lose sight of one important ingredient and that's service.

[00:01:55] Self-improvement and working on yourself is great. And you know, I'm a big, [00:02:00] uh, big fan of it. I think it's necessary when it comes to being the best version of yourself and showing up for others. But if you're always working on yourself and not giving back your time, your talents and your resources, you'll lose important growth opportunities and lose sight of what matters most.

[00:02:15] And that's what we want to talk about today. As we talk about how to get more out of your life by actually giving more of yourself. And this episode is, is sparked around the Thanksgiving season, the holiday season, especially after, uh, on the heels of our, our Thanksgiving event that we just had recently.

[00:02:34] And, uh, that inspired me to want to do this because in the past I have personally had a hard time getting out of. My own journey, my own, uh, day-to-day my own routine and taking a step back to actually give back of my, of my time of my resources of my abilities. And I think that's been a major mistake and was a major.

[00:02:57] And gap in my, uh, my [00:03:00] development journey as a, as a man for so long. And when I started to give myself more to, uh, serve in different ways to volunteer, to give back, then I noticed some changes in terms of. My actual development journey and how I showed up the lessons. I learned the things I actually improved upon because of doing that.

[00:03:19] And that's the purpose today is, is not to, and not to shame you for not having, you know, not serving enough and not volunteering enough. That's not at all what this is about. Uh, this is not about. Uh, praising ourselves for the service we do. We could always improve in those areas as, uh, myself as an individual and us as a, as a business.

[00:03:38] And it's not even to be a proponent for formal volunteer work. I don't, I think too often we picture. Service, we picture volunteering. We picture we here giving of our time and we just, we think of it as a, as a chores and necessity as a, another box to check of. Okay. I'll, I'll volunteer my time for four hours one morning, and [00:04:00] then I'm good for the quarter.

[00:04:01] I'm good for the year. And that's not at all. What services about services, more of a posture and attitude. Something that we can adapt in our day to day. I don't think this has to be some. A big event all the time that, uh, That's not what service or volunteering has to look like. This can be little acts of service throughout the day.

[00:04:21] And, um, once we get into the actual practical side of it, there's, there's going to be six things that gonna, uh, talk about that you guys can actually receive things. You can learn things you can build on by adopting this, the spirit of giving. But, you know, first I want to. Kind of touch on some of the things that I noticed and that I know other guys I've talked to have noticed when we get too caught up in our day-to-day life.

[00:04:44] When we get too caught up in this, this relentless journey to improve ourselves, to strive, to do more, to be more. And I, I think that's, I think it's great. I think it's good to work on yourself. If you're not, then we're either we're making progress or we're regressing there's, there's [00:05:00] no in between. So I think all those things are necessary, but it can't come at the expense of always just putting our head down and grinding and working on ourselves and reading those self-help books and listening to podcasts and doing those things.

[00:05:12] Sometimes we have to step back and give. And some of the things that I noticed, both in my personal journey and talking to other people, some of the questions that, uh, I was, I was experiencing was, are you ever losing sight of the bigger picture? You know, for me, I would, I would get in these, these modes where just be head down focus and you should lose sight of the big picture.

[00:05:33] It's like, okay, why, why am I really doing it? Why am I even working on myself so hard? Why am I, you know, trying to improve myself? What is, what is the bigger picture? And ultimately it should be service. We should be looking to give back to serve, to lead our families, to impact our friends, to impact our communities.

[00:05:51] That's the reason we're doing all this work to try and improve and try and do that. And if you lose sight of the bigger picture, that's a, you know, an attitude of, [00:06:00] of service of giving back can help to gain that perspective. Another thing is, are you overwhelmed by the day to day when I'm, when I'm not giving back in different ways?

[00:06:11] And again, I want to clear up giving back means it's not, it's not always donated money. It's not always a form of volunteer stuff, but when I'm not serving those around me, when I'm not serving my wife, Lindsey, and I'm not serving our community, our friends and family, and I'm just taking, receiving. Um, building my own knowledge base and trying to grow just in my own journey, then it's easy to get overwhelmed by the day to day.

[00:06:34] You don't have those opportunities to give back to, uh, to use those skills that you're learning to use those talents you've been given to use the resources you have. And there's, there's a lot of power in that. And one of the big things is you get out of the day-to-day it's, it's easy to get overwhelmed when you're only focused on yourself, but taking a step back can actually help with that.

[00:06:56] If you ever have trouble being grateful and thankful [00:07:00] for where you're at and what you've accomplished, that's probably because you're looking to take too much, you're consuming, you're receiving, but, but not giving. And the questions to ask yourself is when was the last time I really gave for the sake of, of giving and not to not to necessarily try and improve, not to, you know, have a motive behind it, but how often in my day to day, my, my weekly rhythm am I giving.

[00:07:25] And that can be, you know, small things. So with our, with spouses and relationships, with, with family and friends at work, that can be, you know, giving of, of your time, something that, you know, maybe helping someone out on a, a project or a thing that you might not directly benefit from, but going out of your way, staying, staying late to help someone who needs it, uh, helping someone you see out in the community who's, who's struggling.

[00:07:49] Who's, you know, the classic car broke down analogy, but something similar to that of. How often are you, uh, just giving for the sake of giving? Cause a lot of times, to be honest, it [00:08:00] comes at an inconvenience it's, it's not convenient to, to serve. It's not convenient to, uh, step out of our day to day, our schedules are jam packed schedules, probably to do these types of things.

[00:08:13] And I get it when you're, when you're striving for more, when you're trying to improve, when you are trying to optimize all these things and you have your schedule down and your routines, it can be hard to find time and energy, especially to give back. But really it's, it's too important not to. And like I said, this is not a guilt trip.

[00:08:31] This is not even a praise for those volunteering, because I think for a lot of us, it's going to look, it's going to look different. It might just be serving within your family or at your workplace. It might be, you know, it's going to be totally different from one person to the next, but the act of sir, the act of service is not what we're trying to do.

[00:08:51] It's not about. Okay, I'm going to now set this goal to serve once every month. It's this attitude. I want to adapt as we go through our days [00:09:00] and as we make our way through our lives. And like I mentioned, the beginning, uh, this is just motivated that motivated to do this specific episode because we had an amazing.

[00:09:11] Uh, Thanksgiving giving back event, uh, just yesterday, at least at the time of recording this. So this past Thanksgiving, uh, whenever you're listening to this and, uh, this is one of the most special times of the year for Lindsay and I, because we get to use this platform we have for our local physical therapy business inside out strengthened performance, we get to use this platform.

[00:09:34] We have this business we've, uh, been able to, you've been fortunate enough to build up. To gather resources and volunteers and time. And, uh, we, we home cooked and handle ever, uh, over 130 meals yesterday. Uh, so I'm Thanksgiving to just those, the homeless in the area. So to North County, San Diego, And there's no way this would have been possible without a lot of help.

[00:09:59] So [00:10:00] don't, don't, uh, look to us as the, as the heroes, we, we just have helped coordinate at this point. There's so many people that donated time and money and came out on their Thanksgiving morning to package these meals up to hand pack. Every one of them from home cooked meals to put them in our cars, to drive them around.

[00:10:19] And really we're just looking for people that are, are. Out there that are needed me off. It needs some hope. And, uh, it's, it's one of the most rewarding things, because at the end of the day, you're, you're exhausted, but at the same time, you're just, you're your heart's full. And it's, it's hard to describe because it's, uh, it's, it's not like, okay, I just finished a work day and I'm exhausted.

[00:10:42] I want to veg on the couch. It's, it's this rewarding feeling of, of doing something that. No, we didn't, we're not doing this for, for praise or for, for recognition or anything. This is something that started four years ago, we packaged up 10 meals and we went around and handed them [00:11:00] out and it's grown into what it has because of the help of those around us.

[00:11:03] But the, you know, the feedback we got from other people too, and the feedback we got of, thanks for letting us be a part of this. It was so cool to bring our family along and let them experience this. And there's, there's something. You know, powerful around uniting and being able to work together as a, as a community, or even as a, a couple of people, or even just as yourself towards a cause that's outside of yourself.

[00:11:28] And we're not, we're not a behind in solving. Hunger issues or anything, but it's just one day where we can go give an extra meal to someone who probably wasn't gonna have it. We hear things like this. I wasn't planning on eating there. I didn't know where I was going to eat. And no thank you for doing this.

[00:11:44] Some of the places are closed where they typically get meals or people even no saying that. Wow, thanks so much. Like I'm going to make this meal stretch out for the next week because they haven't eaten in a couple of days and it's just, it gives you a whole [00:12:00] new. The perspective around things. It really is humbling in a lot of ways to be able to do that.

[00:12:05] And those are things that we wouldn't get if we were just stuck in our own bubble and stuck in our own, you know, we're just trying to grow as a business. We're just a physical therapy business. We're just trying to bring more clients in here, help them get better, help them get their lives back. I do feel that's a way that we get to serve and we're thankful in our business that we get to get to do that.

[00:12:24] But at the same time, This, those are, you know, even, even the people that we enjoy serving from a PT side of things, those are paying customers to go out and do it to someone who can't give you anything in return is, is something that's, that's really cool. And I, I encourage us to find ways to serve. I, like I said, I really don't think it has to be formal.

[00:12:45] It can be, you know, in that example, what if you saw someone who was homeless and. Went out of your way, took, uh, you know, 10 minutes to go through a drive through somewhere to pick them up a warm meal and drop it off to him and just say, Hey, I. [00:13:00] I saw you, uh, touchy, appreciate this. Imagine if all of us did small acts like that, it doesn't have to be a, on a grand scale, but these are the things that are really cool.

[00:13:11] And the reason I did this is to try and rally us around, you know, doing these small acts of service. If you have it on your heart to do something big, to do, to give back to hundreds of thousands of people, then. Yeah, start working towards that. I love that kind of drive as well, but for those that are like, man, I am so.

[00:13:30] Burned out and stretched in. I don't know where I can. I don't even know where I can fit this in start incredibly small. And I've talked about this in the past for, for fitness. I've talked about this for nutrition, for forming new habits. Uh, talked about it in a lot of different ways, but starting small, don't try and change the world with one thing, but you'll be amazed at.

[00:13:51] How you can impact someone else's life, but also the things that you can get by adopting the spirit of giving. And that's what we want to speak on a little more here today are actually the things that, [00:14:00] you know, what, what can I get out of, out of giving? And there are things that you do get from it.

[00:14:05] You'll, you know, first thing I wrote down is that. You'll gain new perspectives. Uh, the example of giving out meals to people, it really puts things into perspective when, when there's time, where we feel like we're struggling or having a tough day or, you know, worksheets tough. Well, people ask our work's going.

[00:14:22] It's like, Oh man, we're, we're busy. We're we're stretched thin. And then you go and do something like this and it, it just gives you a fresh perspective and really opens up your eyes to be in like, okay, well, I definitely don't have it as bad as I think I have a roof over my head. We are never struggling to put food on the table.

[00:14:40] And I, that new perspective when we serve is something that we can't always get anywhere else. You can, you can read it somewhere and. You can read it in a, you know, a new story or a different thing, or you see someone doing it, but there's something different. The perspective you get when you get out and do this on your own.

[00:14:58] Second thing, [00:15:00] you'll gain new insights. So you'll see things that you didn't maybe see before. And we'll start to look at things differently and you'll, you'll learn some new things. You'll get some new ideas and things to be in like, Oh, I don't, I don't know why this is like this, but it, uh, it almost sparks creativity in a different way.

[00:15:15] When you're, when you're doing something that's outside of your day to day. When you're doing something that's forcing you to be challenged in a new way and challenge in a way that. Like I said, you're not necessarily getting anything directly from it, but you're trying to solve a problem and that creativity can then lead into other times.

[00:15:33] There's times where we get away. And we do things like this and it sparks new creativity within our business. And for, for no reason that I can explain, it's just it. Uh, we, we have no ideas, you see things a little differently and it gives you those new insights. Third thing I wrote down, you can actually, your physiology will change from this.

[00:15:55] Uh, there's we've talked in the past about the role of, of stress, the [00:16:00] role of, of mood and some of those different things in terms of how that actually affects our physiology. Even in ways of how we hold on to fat in our body and how we build muscle. Those things are related to our physiology and our hormones, and actually at a cellular level, those things, those things matter.

[00:16:19] And when you do things like this, it changes your physiology because I can tell you, in our example, Lindsay and I were exhausted yet energized at the same time. It's a, it's a different feeling, a feeling you don't get when you're self-driven and when you can adapt the service, it, you know, there are some feel good, feel, good hormones around it and things.

[00:16:40] When you, when you do that and you see someone so thankful you can't help, but. But the, uh, you'll be energized by that. And those things can go a long way. Whatever your goals are, changing your physiology. We talk about changing your state, changing your mood, how that can change things. Well, here's an easy way to do it.

[00:16:57] Feel like you're in a funk, go do something that [00:17:00] is in a way giving back. And I bet you, I can guarantee you you'll feel differently on the other side of it. Four thing you'll increase gratitude for me. That was something that is it's, it's hard to cultivate gratitude just from willing myself to do that.

[00:17:17] And trust me, I've tried, I, I try and will myself to everything often unsuccessfully, but, uh, when you do something like this, It's, it's kind of like a cheat code increase in gratitude because can't help, but go and give my time and take time out of Thanksgiving morning or any more, any morning where you're busy or any day, you take time out of your day, you go give back.

[00:17:40] You're thankful for what you have. You see things in that new way. Like we talked about earlier and, uh, That that does it much differently for me than just reciting three things I'm grateful for every morning or writing them down. And there's, there's a lot of benefits to that more formal method, but doing things like this can be a way to get more of that.

[00:17:58] If it's something you're struggling with [00:18:00] fifth thing, you'll inspire others. And this. This is something that's. That's cool. Because when you do things like this, it brings other people along with you. I'm sure you've heard, uh, you know, little things again, if you're looking for more creative ways, buy coffee for the person in line behind you or.

[00:18:18] And, uh, in the drive-through behind you. And, uh, people will often in turn go and do the same thing, and there's, there's ways to inspire others by. And it's usually by action, your words, aren't going to do it. But when you make little acts like that, people are extremely thankful. And a lot of times they'll go and be more apt to do that for someone else.

[00:18:38] And again, imagine just the world we could create. If we had more people doing that, stepping out of their comfort zone. Giving themselves, uh, for, for service in different ways and inspiring others to do the same number six and last thing. Oh, not the, not the last thing. I'm sure we can think of many more examples, blessing that I have written down when this is done selflessly.

[00:18:59] So [00:19:00] not for selfish gain or just to try and check a box, you'll start to find true value, meaning and purpose in your life. And this is probably the most important because it gets back to getting out of our day to day to remembering why, why am I actually doing all this to, to begin with? We find ourselves reading these books and listening to these podcasts and trying to climb in our career, trying to improve in our fitness, trying to do all these things.

[00:19:29] We're chasing all these things, but why are we really, why are we really doing all these things? And services that the glue that can kind of piece together the value and meaning and purpose out of your life of, Oh yeah, I'm doing these things too to better myself so that I can go out and better others if we're just living a life that's, self-driven self gain.

[00:19:52] If you're just trying to better yourselves for the sake of hopefully feeling better, because you think. [00:20:00] Subjectively you're better than the person next to you. That's, that's a very shallow way to live, but yeah, we're better than ourselves. You guys are listening to this podcast. You guys are reading these books.

[00:20:08] You guys are taking these courses and trying to climb in your career so that you can provide for your family so that you can live as an inspiration for your friends, so that you can perform perform better so that you can give more that's that's the whole reason behind this, or should be the whole reason behind this and services.

[00:20:26] How you actually. Go and get to, you know, deploy those things that you've improved. If you've, if you've, uh, been lucky enough, fortunate enough to, to gain a lot of money through your, through your work and through, through your business, then. Give some of it back, if you've been thankful to be able to, you know, be strong enough and build up this level of health and fitness, then go do something that allows you to showcase that, to go, you know, help someone with, with doing, doing something that they're not physically able to do.

[00:20:57] Yeah, this can apply to any area of your life, but that's the whole reason [00:21:00] behind why you're doing these things. You're looking to improve yourself so that you can go out and do the same for others. Put that on display. So guys, those are the six things that I talked about that you'll actually receive from giving.

[00:21:13] And not that it should be done with the goal of, okay, I'm going to do this so that I get those things. But once you guys to know that there's there's benefit in this there's actual benefit that you're going to get from going out and giving more. And, uh, hopefully that's a good enough, a good enough plug to go out and do this again.

[00:21:30] Don't don't go necessarily thinking you have to go find something formal or find something huge to go do. Start small. In our example, we started with packaging up 10 breakfast sandwiches for people in the area, and we drove around and passed them out. And then it's built up into. We actually did a 150 meals last year.

[00:21:48] And with the pandemic, we were slowed down a little bit this year in terms of volunteer help, but another 130 meals this year. And, uh, we're going for 200 next year. And the goal is not necessarily more, but [00:22:00] as we start small and as we just lean into it, step into it, then there's incredible impact that can happen in a ripple effect that can happen far beyond us.

[00:22:08] And that's what really excites us. And, uh, that's what we hope you guys can do as well. And your families and your communities. Go out and give back in ways that, that you can. And, uh, you'll, you'll be surprised. You'll be surprised how, how great you feel from it. But again, that's not the point. You'll be surprised how.

[00:22:28] You know how much of a change you can really create in someone's life. And it starts with making a small change in their day. So guys go a go find something that excites you, giving back. Doesn't have to be something that's boring. It doesn't have to be something that you don't enjoy. Find something that aligns with what you do enjoy and go, uh, just go take action on it.

[00:22:48] And guys, if you are, should we message. If, uh, if this inspires you to go give back in some way, uh, you can find me on Instagram at @iostrengthperformance. We'd love to hear from you guys love to hear what you guys think of the [00:23:00] show. let me know how you're, how you're giving back this holiday season.

[00:23:02] It doesn't have to be in a big way, but anything small can go a long way. So guys, thanks so much for listening in. I appreciate all you guys. And, uh, let's, let's make this a great holiday season. Let's make it a strong finish to the year. we're big on finishing strong, and now's the time to start to set up our habits to catapult us into, into a big 2021.

[00:23:23] So it starts right now and, uh, keep it up guys. I appreciate you guys. Thanks for listening. And we will talk to you guys soon.

[00:23:32]Thanks so much for listening to today's episode of the Men Made For More podcast, hope you found today's show valuable, and you have some actionable strategies you can apply to your life today. This is your first time listening. Thanks for being here. The aim of this podcast is to provide a ton of the best possible content to help you grow in your journey, to becoming the best version of yourself.

[00:23:54] You enjoyed the podcast and found it helpful. Please make sure to subscribe to the podcast and leave a five star review. [00:24:00] The subscriptions and reviews, help other like-minded men discover the podcast and take the next step in strengthening their body, their mind, and their purpose. You're a regular listener.

[00:24:09] I can't thank you enough for investing in yourself in the show. Please make sure to share this with a friend or post on social media and tag me with your favorite part from today's show. If you haven't already make sure to join the men made for more Facebook group to be a part of a community of like-minded men that are elevating their game and living for more by searching men made for more on Facebook.

[00:24:29] Keep challenging yourself growing and know that it's okay to get out of your comfort zone and know that you're made for more. Thanks for listening and see you guys soon.

Most men have lost their physical and mental edge that is keeping them from living out their full potential, so we’ve created a way to help you get your edge back. Join the Men Made for More Facebook group to learn how to strengthen your body, your mind, and your purpose to become the man you know you can be.

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