Men Made For More Podcast Episode 132: Beware of the Fear of CriticismMar 09, 2021
So many people let other people’s limiting beliefs and thoughts on what is possible keep them from pursuing big and exciting things. If you have a big business idea, inspiration to write a book, or take on a new chapter of your life - don’t let others speak down on the vision that you’ve been given. It’s your responsibility to follow it! Listen up to today’s podcast for some encouragement and things to consider to prevent others from derailing your dreams.
If you need help with getting clear on your goals and your purpose, your big WHY, and taking action on your dreams, follow the link below to download our Free PDF - The 5 Steps You Need to Achieve Your Big Goals. This is the step by step process we’ve guided so many of our coaching clients through to make their dreams a reality with a clear action plan.
Download it by heading to https://www.menmadeformore.com/big-goals. If you have a big dream that’s on your mind - I want to stand in your corner and speak life into it. Let me know what your biggest dream is and I’ll support you however I can - even if it’s just encouragement to not give up on it. Text me at (760) 477-4361 and let me know.
Men Made For More Podcast Episode 132: Beware of the Fear of Criticism
[00:00:00] Dave: Hey there mighty men. I'm your host, Dr. Dave Paczkowski founder of Men Made For More Coaching, our business helps husbands level up their life. Their leadership and their legacy in marriage and in business. The purpose of this podcast is to bring together like-minded men that feel destined for big things in their life and provide you the resources and community that you need to lead yourself, your family and your business.
[00:00:27] If you've ever felt overwhelmed, frustrated, lost, or alone on your journey to a better and more purposeful life, you're in the right spot. You weren't designed to be average. So it's time to quit living that way today. I'm giving you permission to unlock your true potential and step into all that you were made for.
[00:00:45] What's up mighty men. Welcome to today's episode of the Men Made For More podcast. I'm so excited to have you guys with me here today. We're talking about the fear of criticism, what that is, [00:01:00] why you need to be aware of it and why you need to run from it when you can identify it. And what to do to, to help keep it from becoming an issue in your life.
[00:01:10] Because I talked to so many guys I've worked with so many guys I've talked to so many people that let other people's limiting beliefs. Our own is enough. We have, we have enough. Of our own limiting beliefs. We don't need help from other people in this area, but they let other people's limiting beliefs and thoughts on what is possible.
[00:01:30] Keep them from pursuing those big things, those exciting things, our vision that you have for, for your life, for your business and whether it is a big business idea and inspiration to maybe write a book or just take on a new chapter of your life. Don't let others speak down on this vision because you've been given it specifically.
[00:01:48] And if it's in line with your passions, if it's a mind with your talents, Then you got to go for it. And even if it's not, don't let the people telling you all the reasons why it won't work, [00:02:00] make you start to believe those things, because it is your responsibility to follow it. And that's why I want to talk about this today to give you some encouragement, but also give you guys some things to consider, to prevent other people in your life from derailing, those big dreams you have.
[00:02:16] I see so many people get derailed because of other people's thoughts, their opinions, their. Things outside of their control that let them second guess and say, ah, maybe, maybe I shouldn't go do that thing. Or maybe, maybe that wasn't a good idea. And guys, this, this kills more dreams. And it kills me to know that there's dreams that are dying because of other people speaking, what they think is logic.
[00:02:42] And guys, people, people mean well, the people in our lives and especially those closest to us, uh, family members, friends, uh, even spouses, significant others. They want what's what's best for us, but they're operating on a belief system. That's within their [00:03:00] experiences within what they think is possible within their comfort zone.
[00:03:04] And if you play into that, if you don't step out of that comfort zone, if you don't step into what you were made to be doing, then the cycle is going to continue and you're not going to be able to live. Is that inspiration for them, someone who takes action towards your dream, someone who actually makes those, those dreams happen makes those a reality.
[00:03:22] So don't let other, people's thinking get in the way of that, because this fear of criticism, that's exactly what, what this is, is the fear of, well, what will my family say? Well, my friends say, well, my spouse say, when I want to go, you know, when I'm thinking about quitting, my job that I'm really dissatisfied with, and I want to start a business that lights me on fire.
[00:03:42] What's what are people going to think? There's never been a business owner in my family. What are they going to say? When I leave my, my stable, my stable nine to five and step into this new chapter. What are people going to say when I want to want to write a book or go into music or do something different, you know, get into getting some [00:04:00] more volunteering work, give back, like, what are, what are people gonna think when they hear that I'm, I'm doing this and guys that's that's normal, but be aware of it because that fear of that criticism, that fear of what other people are going to say to it.
[00:04:13] One of those things might not ever happen. Those things might be stories that you're just telling in your head. And two, if they are real stories, if you do talk about your dreams and people speak that into, you just know that that's, that's not true. If that's coming from a different place, that's not, uh, that's not where your destiny lies.
[00:04:32] So just keep those things in mind. We all want to be accepted. We all want to fit in, but doing big things requires us to stand out, to step up and to stand out and. As men, we gotta, we gotta lead. We gotta lead from the front. We got to lead our homes, our businesses. We have to be able to take action. And how are we going to tell our, our spouse or our kids, if we're planning on having them or our friends or a community that yeah.
[00:04:57] Take those risks, go for your dreams. If [00:05:00] we're, if we're playing small on the inside because of a fear of what other people will think. So we have to lead from the front. We have to lead with action. But do you understand that those people in our lives that might be questioning us? They mean, well, they, they want the best for us, but they also want us to stay in our comfort zone and they don't want to see us fail, but there's always risk.
[00:05:19] And there's always changes are required to level up from where you are right now, today, listening to this podcast and where you want to be. And this can, this can happen in big forms. If, like I said, of, of quitting the nine to five and jumping into a new business venture. That's a big step. That's something that's big and scary, but, uh, this even happened last week.
[00:05:39] Uh, I had a coaching call with, uh, one of my clients, Tom, and he was a little discouraged because he's been implementing some new habits. He's been starting to meditate, starting to read in the morning, just planning out his, his day and his week a little more. And he's already seen some good results from it.
[00:05:55] But, uh, he's his significant other has made comments already about [00:06:00] why you, why reading so much and should be working and what, what are you a reader now? And you know, who knows where these, where these comments are coming from, but these things can be enough to discourage us to the point of, yeah. Maybe.
[00:06:15] Maybe they're right. Maybe I don't need to be doing this and I don't need to be reading or meditating. That's that's kind of weird. Like I maybe, maybe I'll just stop or yeah, you're right. That, that business, you know, it's probably not, you know, probably not something that I can be successful with and we start believing these, these lies that aren't true.
[00:06:33] And we don't know where these things are coming from, said they might be, there might be harmless comments or they might be coming from someone else's insecurity, someone else's, uh, unbelief. Man guys, just go on social media and look at a look at someone who's making. Making change. Who's leading the way who's following their dreams.
[00:06:51] Go read that person's comments are going to get, they're going to get brought down. They're going to get discouraged. They're going to get things that they'll get ripped down for [00:07:00] things that have nothing to do with the content of the post, how they look, what, uh, you know, other, other things in their life and just know that other people out there are going to get uncomfortable.
[00:07:10] When you get uncomfortable and start pursuing your dreams, because a lot of people out there, you might be one of them listening to this show. You might find yourself where you've been in that situation, where you like, who are they to you look at other people and you start judging them and who are they to go and do this thing, maybe a friend from high school or something who stepped into something that you always wanted to do.
[00:07:30] And you can start to get a little, uh, Almost agitated or upset about, about it. And it's not, it has nothing to do with them. It's, it's our own insecurities that, uh, portray this and project this to others. So be careful if you're doing this for other people, but also be aware when, when that's coming in.
[00:07:48] That's that's not you guys that's, uh, there's nothing to do with you. But it does. It kills me to think of how many dreams are just dying because of others that are not speaking life into it. Others that are [00:08:00] speaking death into those dreams. And I'm here to tell you today right now that if you have a big dream, no matter how crazy it might seem to those around you, don't let it die.
[00:08:08] And don't give into others telling you that you're wrong. I'm reading a book right now. Classic texts thinking grow rich by Napoleon Hill. Great read so far, still about two thirds through it. And, uh, he talks about people in history, Thomas Edison, who got to spend a lot of time with Henry Ford, some of these other successful businessmen, successful individuals who you better believe.
[00:08:30] People thought they were crazy at certain points. People thought they were. You know, insane for pursuing things, for, you know, getting criticized for their knowledge, for their failures, for all those things. When, if those, if those people gave him and you could think of thousands of other people throughout, throughout history and probably in your life here today, if those people gave into other people's speaking death over their dreams, and there'd be a lot of innovation loss, there'd be a lot of, uh, A lot of dreams that just fell to the [00:09:00] side that never, never blossomed the way that they could.
[00:09:04] And I don't want you guys to fall into that same trap. And I'm speaking to you guys from, from personal experience here. One. Dozens of clients that I've talked to and worked with that this is real. This is, uh, you know, you get resistance when you start to level up. When you start to get out of your comfort zone, other people are going to start to want to keep you playing small.
[00:09:24] Don't let it, but this is real and my own life too, in my own journey with, with Lindsay and I, we, uh, moved to Southern California, essentially knowing. No one and had a dream, a big vision of a PT business and set out strength and performance that I was ready to start. I wanted to start, I didn't know how I had no business background.
[00:09:45] I had not really anyone in my family who was a, the entrepreneur type, and this can be playing small for awhile because I was honestly, I was, I was scared of opinions that didn't even necessarily. Weren't even ever said of [00:10:00] what's my family going to think when I don't want to pursue the safe nine to five stable physical therapy job, I'm going to go start this business, this cash based physical therapy business to help people though the way I want to help and give back to the community, the ways that I, I want to and spend time working with people, the way that I believe is, is the right way to do it.
[00:10:18] And guys that fear kept me from really fully stepping into that for, for a long time for, you know, at least at least six months, probably close to a year. I wrestled with these things of, I got, um, I'm kind of talking about the idea, but I'm already almost downplaying of like, well, I don't want to make too big of a thing about it because they might think I'm really serious about it.
[00:10:40] And this happened with family. This happened with friends, even with Lindsay, before she could see the vision of what was going on. I just had this idea, this crazy idea. We just got married, where we moved. Um, I'm starting a business and, you know, thank God she was as supportive as she was, but that doesn't mean that she didn't have her doubts when, cause it wasn't like we opened up shop and people just started [00:11:00] flocking in it's.
[00:11:00] It's been a hard journey guys on that front and the fears of what everyone else would think. Really kept me playing small and fast forward to last summer last June. Okay. We've we've built up this successful PT practice now. We're we're doing well. And guess what those same fears circle back when I stepped into this, this new passion that was on my heart, this, this passion that I'm so on fire about of, of man-made for more coaching in this podcast and coaching people, just like you to help them live a more profitable and passionate life.
[00:11:37] Got it. As those same fears emerge, even though I had gone through it, I had, uh, overcome it. So to speak of, of building a successful. Physical therapy business one, that's still growing one that I'm still super passionate about, but here I am stepping into this new thing you want to do what coaching for men?
[00:11:54] What effect, what is, what does that even mean? What does that, what does that mean? What does that look like? What does it. You're a [00:12:00] physical therapist, aren't you like? And you start getting these, these questions and these things of, again, people that mean, well, Hey, you got, you're building this successful business.
[00:12:08] Like keep going with that. Now that this, the same doubts that were there before of like, how are you going to make money with this? Hey, you're making, you're making money with this. You're impacting people keep going, but there was this other tug in my heart, other burning desire to, to do this, to step into this, the way that I know I needed to.
[00:12:25] And I dove in that doesn't mean the fears weren't there, but I knew from past experience that I'm going to dive right into this and I'm going to go for it. And guys there's still been fears throughout the first few months. It was, it was tiptoeing around a little bit of not wanting to not wanting to say how excited I really was about it.
[00:12:45] And that was my own limiting beliefs and the, just the words of other people around me of, Hey, yeah, that's a fun side project, but. No good luck with that. At least you still got your PT business. I'm like, no, this is, this is going to be a, it's going to be a big [00:13:00] thing. I have a big vision for this company.
[00:13:01] I have a big vision for this coaching and the community and the people we've already impacted and we're going to continue to impact. And guys, you gotta, you gotta go for it. You can't let others speak that, speak that into you. And this, uh, you know, I had this coaching business for coming on six months and it was starting to do well, but at the same time, there's still a little bit of that reserve.
[00:13:23] And while I'm still kind of trying to keep it a little bit PT related, cause that's, that's how people know me. I've posted a lot of strength, work on Instagram and done these different things like who might get into more of this, this life and business coaching side of things. But I had some mentors in my life speak life into it, say no, if that's where your passion is like, Go for it.
[00:13:41] Be authentic because if you hide it even a little bit, people can tell, people can tell when you're not being authentic to your passions, to, to who you are, to what you want to be doing. And once, uh, once I had people around me speak life into me, the own coaches that I hire and work with and things, things have taken off even much more since then, [00:14:00] because it just instills a whole new level of confidence in what you're doing.
[00:14:04] So I want to talk about five things here for you guys. Five things to consider five things to keep in mind and a kind of five ways to push through when you meet maybe some of that opposition or that criticism that is inevitably going to come in your life. And if you're not getting any criticism, if you're not having anyone questioning what you're doing or thinking, maybe you're a little crazy for pursuing that.
[00:14:27] The guys I'm going to challenge you. I'm going to challenge you. You might need some, some bigger things and that doesn't have to be leaving your job and starting a new business that might be, you know, it could be a dozen other things, but I'm challenging you to go for it. Go for something big. That's exciting.
[00:14:40] That's scary that you can pursue. So the five things, first thing before anything you've got to believe in yourself and what you're doing. This vision isn't for anyone else, God gave you this vision. It's on your heart. It's there for a reason. It wasn't given to anyone else, other people aren't going to be able to see it.
[00:14:58] And in my case with, with [00:15:00] both the, uh, inside out, when I first started man-made from our coach and when I started it, Lindsay was supportive, but that doesn't mean she had the same vision or she, uh, she saw the same vision as much as I tried to explain it. So before anything you have to believe in yourself, if you don't believe in yourself and what you're doing and know that it's important, know that it's life-changing right.
[00:15:18] For you for your family, for your clients and customers, then that's the first step guys. You need that, or else the criticism is going to hit you harder. And it's going to, it's going to force you to second guess when you get in those situations. So remember this isn't for anyone else, you have to first believe in yourself and what you're doing.
[00:15:35] Second, speak up, make it clear and don't hold back. Cause I held back for awhile. I, I would kind of talk about what I was doing, but I would change the subject or I would say, Oh yeah, I'm kind of doing this thing, but it's not really, you know, it's not really a big thing. I'm kind of, I'm just starting on the side right now.
[00:15:52] It's, you know, you don't want to talk about how excited you really are about it because that's vulnerable that opens you up to hurt that. Opens [00:16:00] you up to tough conversations of what? Whoa, Whoa, what, why are you, why are you doing this again? And this, this isn't you. And, but, but it is it's it's, what's on your heart.
[00:16:09] It's, what's, what's on, you know, your, your mind and what you think about what you're excited about. So speak up, be clear with it. Don't hold back. You're going to get opposition. You're going to get people who questioned you, but if you continue to speak up, she continue to make it clear. People start to know that that you're for real.
[00:16:24] And your dream is for real. Third thing, let your actions speak act quick and act confidently. These early stages of, of a vision of a belief of a dream. These are fragile times guys, when you first get that idea and you kind of want to, you're not telling the world about it yet, maybe, but you're starting to tell people you trust.
[00:16:44] And again, they mean well, but maybe they start to say, Oh, I don't know about that. And that can, that can force you to second guess can force you to be like, yeah, you're right. I don't know about that either. So let your actions speak, just start taking [00:17:00] action on it. Maybe even before you tell anyone, just start putting together the base pieces of it.
[00:17:04] I didn't know what I was doing with this coaching business. When I first started it, I just. Bought a mic and started recording a podcast and talking about things that I was excited about. And it's, it's grown since then. It's evolved and I've gotten more clarity has I've let the action speak for itself.
[00:17:19] Let the action become the compass of, okay. I, I, I really enjoy that. I get fired up when I talk about that. And these are the people I really like working with these other people I've seen good results with and it continues to evolve. So let your actions speak at quickly at confidently. Don't don't settle for.
[00:17:36] Indecision, just take action guys. And you'll see that, uh, one, you'll get more belief in yourself and you'll start to get belief from those around you. As they see that you're a man of action with that, and you're moving forward with that. Four thing, paint the picture. Guys, people have to see your vision.
[00:17:54] They have to know your vision to be able to run with it. And people do want to help. Not everyone is going to be bringing you down. There's going to [00:18:00] be plenty of people that are extremely supportive and want to help, however they can. But if you don't, if you're not able to paint a clear enough picture, if they can't grasp it, And say, Hey, here's where my skillset can help.
[00:18:10] Or here, I know someone who can help you out, maybe have this perfect client for you, paint that picture so that people can see it and they can enlist help from their resources, their experience, their network. So speak it out, be confident with it and paint the picture of where you're going of, of who you want to help.
[00:18:28] And people will be, will be able to come along with that. I was, I was vague in the beginning and. Yeah, like I said, this is still always evolving in her coaching business, but I help husband entrepreneurs live their most passionate and profitable life. People that want to take their, their side hustle biz and blow it up into their, their full-time thing.
[00:18:47] Uh, people that are struggling with relationships and maybe they've seen some financial success, but they're just not fulfilled. Those are the people that I'm passionate about helping. And as I speak that out, other people are going to be like, Hey, I know someone [00:19:00] who you need to get connected with as we paint that picture.
[00:19:02] People will come along for it fifth and probably the most important piece here. Level up your squad level up your squad guys, be around people who are going to speak life into you. Hire coaches who are going to speak life into you. Join mastermind groups that are going to speak life. And you challenge you keep you accountable.
[00:19:19] Find friend circles, find communities that are going to challenge you to grow that are going to see even more from you than you can see in yourself, but also going to lovingly keep you accountable, not from a guilt way, but are going to. Demand more of you and see more in you. I had this a lot where people saw more in myself.
[00:19:38] Then I saw in myself for awhile about kind of talk about these things I want to do. And they'd be like, I've seen yet. I think you can do more than that. Like I think, I think your vision can be bigger than that. And I was like, really, I kind of taken aback at first being around these, these people who are just feeding life into me.
[00:19:54] And that's possible for you guys too. So find the right squad, level it up, be around people who are going to push you [00:20:00] to grow. So guys, there's your, there's your five things. Take action takeaway for today. Go take action on this dream. Tell someone about it, get it to the point where you have that belief in yourself.
[00:20:11] First, once you have that belief in yourself, start speaking up, start taking action. Start telling others to summarize those five steps again, believe in yourself and what you're doing this isn't for anyone else. Speak up, make it clear and don't hold back. Let your actions speak. Act quick and act confidently.
[00:20:28] Paint a picture. People have to be able to see your vision too. They'll come along with it and level up your squad. Be around people who are going to inspire you to grow, who are going to see more out of you are going to demand more out of you. I'm going to keep you accountable. So guys, thanks for listening today.
[00:20:42] She has need help on this. Uh, go, go download. There's a link right? In the show notes for you guys, it's called the big goals workbook. It takes you through the full goal setting process I use with my clients, but I want you to take a second step like this, whether, whether your interest in the workbook or not, isn't important.
[00:20:58] I really think it can help you guys, [00:21:00] but text me and let me know what your big dream is. Whether it's something you're currently working on. Or whether it's something that's just purely an idea right now that you have that you want to take action on shoot me a text. My numbers are in the show notes, (760) 477-4361.
[00:21:15] Guys, I want to encourage you. I want to support you. I want to speak life into it, regardless of if I can help or not. Uh, maybe I have some connections that can help you maybe have some resources that can help you guys. I would love to hear what that is because I get fired up here and guys take action on their dreams, stepping into something that.
[00:21:30] Maybe they didn't think they can do so guys, if that's you, I want to hear from you, shoot me a text. Let me know. And I would love to speak some life into your dreams too guys. I appreciate you guys. I appreciate you guys for investing in yourself for taking the time to listen to a podcast. That's going to help you to grow guys.
[00:21:46] If you can apply these things, it's going to. It's going to help your life too, to take off, it's going to give you the confidence you need to do that. This isn't a, this isn't stuff you can just listen to and say, that's great encouragement, guys. You have to take action. [00:22:00] If you ever need any help, make sure to reach out and find a crew around you that can help you do the same and keep working towards those big dreams.
[00:22:06] Guys, we're not meant to play small. I know you have more. In your life. I know you have more in your future and I'm excited to know what that is. So guys appreciate you. Go crush the rest of your day. And I will talk to you guys soon.
[00:22:18] Thanks for listening today, guys, unbelieving that even if you apply one thing from today's show, you're taking one step closer to living as the man you were made to be meaningful change doesn't happen overnight. So keep showing up and keep consistent every single day until good things start to happen.
[00:22:35] If you haven't already taken 60 seconds to write a review on whatever platform you're listening on, it goes a long way in growing this podcast and reaching other men just like you, that are hungry for more in their life. Do you have any questions on today's show feedback or content you want to see more of shoot me a text.
[00:22:52] Yeah, text me (760) 477-4361 at (760) [00:23:00] 477-4361. Let me know that you're listening to it. And so I can personally thank you for your support of myself and the show. That's it for today, guys, it's time to raise your standard for yourself. Stop settling for just getting by, go all in on your passions in the Lightroom made for a lot of you guys and talk to you soon.
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