Men Made For More Podcast Episode 110: Big Goals Require A Big WHYDec 22, 2020
This is Part 2 of our Goal Setting Mini Series - click below to listen to the other episodes:
Have you ever set a big goal that got you so excited, only to fizzle out as time went on? Most men are great at dreaming big things and getting excited in the moment, but they fail to match the size of WHY the goal is important to the actual goal itself. At Men Made For More Coaching, we attach any of our coaching clients goals to an appropriate WHY that will help them stay consistent and push through the hard times as the initial excitement dies down. Listen up to today’s show to learn how to make sure that the size of your WHY matches the size of your goals.
If you need help with getting clear on your goals and your purpose, your WHY, and taking action, follow the link below to download our Free PDF - The 5 Steps You Need to Achieve Your Big Goals.
If you haven’t yet, make sure to join like minded men in the our Men Made For More Facebook Group - designed to offer Performance Coaching to Help Men Get Strong, Feel Confident, and Level Up Their Life.
Men Made For More Podcast Episode 110: Big Goals Require A Big WHY
[00:00:00] Dave: Welcome to the Men Made For More podcast, a show designed by men for men looking to get strong, feel confident and live a high performing life. And we face many challenges as we try and strive for better life. Want to live a meaningful and confident life, but don't know where to start. You've lost your physical and mental edge that's keeping you from living out your full potential. You're tired of talking about doing big things and you're ready to start living it, but the Men Made For More podcast, our goal is to teach you how to strengthen your body, your mind, and your purpose. On your way to reaching your full potential.
[00:00:34] It's time to start living as a man you know, you can be to help lift up those that matter most in your life. In this podcast, we'll leave no stone unturned as to what it takes to get out of your comfort zone and step into living a strong, competent, and high-performing life. We'll focus on the topics that matter most for helping you develop into the man you were made to be.
[00:00:52] And our goal is to not only build strong men physically,but to help coach and develop strong friends, sons, brothers, fathers, isn't [00:01:00] owners, and professionals in every area of your life. I'm your host, Dr. Dave Paczkowski, proud husband, business owner, physical therapist and strength coach with a passion for helping other men strengthen their body, their mind, and their purpose, wherever you're at in your journey from member that you're made for more.
[00:01:16] I'm excited to have you here with us today and let's dive into today's episode of the Men Made For More podcast
[00:01:23] Hey guys, welcome to today's show. Uh, this is the second part of a three-part mini series on goal-setting popular time leading up to the new year. Everyone's amped up. Everyone's excited to do big things in 2021, especially after 2020. Uh, so this three-part mini series. If you miss the first one, it's on supercharging your goals and using emotion to do that, uh, you can go back to last week to check that one out, but today we are talking about why your big goals require a big why.
[00:01:53] Now have you ever set a big goal that you got so excited about only to fizzle out as time went on. Most men are great at [00:02:00] dreaming big things and getting excited in the moment, but they failed the match the size of the of why that goal is important to the actual goal itself at man-made for more coaching, we attach any of our coaching clients goals to an appropriate why that will help them stay consistent.
[00:02:15] And push through the hard times as that initial excitement dies down and it will die down. Guys, I can guarantee you, but listen up today to learn how to make sure that your why that purpose behind why you're doing it is matching the size of your goals. Now, what do I mean when I say your, why this, this term can get thrown around a lot, but I just want to clarify very simply this is just the reason behind why a goal, a dream or anything that you're working towards is so important to you.
[00:02:44] Like I said, excitement can only carry us so far. If you've ever gotten excited over a goal only to find the goal completely out of sight and out of mind months, or even weeks later, you've probably failed to connect it to a strong why and believe me guys I've been there. I know a [00:03:00] lot of guys that have, we get excited, we get amped up, but if we're not connecting to that deeper purpose, why is this so important?
[00:03:09] If we can't find that, the excitement's not going to carry us through the tough times. Now, the bigger, the goal, the bigger the why that you're going to need to achieve it. The bigger, the goal, the bigger your why is going to have to be, you're going to need this to achieve those goals. So I'm going to start with a couple personal examples that show the importance of getting clear on your wife or your purpose.
[00:03:31] Before we get into some strategies that you can implement at the end here, we have three strategies that you can implement. But first I want to show you guys in my experiences, why thie why is so important? So the first one I'll admit is a little bit of a silly example and my, my wife's gonna laugh when she hears this one.
[00:03:48] Cause I probably still get a hard time for it. Because I, in the past and still today, I tend to, uh, I get really excited about something. And, uh, sometimes I don't see it all the way through. [00:04:00] So this, this episode is, uh, very much for myself as well, but there was a, uh, a time in my life, probably two, three years ago, maybe where I was consuming a lot of info.
[00:04:11] I was, I was reading books, listening to podcasts, audio books. Maybe you guys can relate to some of this where you're just consuming. You're excited. You're on fire. You're on this personal growth journey and I'm just consuming and consuming. And I probably heard it on a, another podcast actually, or something about the importance of not just consuming, but making sure you're actually applying.
[00:04:32] Okay, it's great. You're listening to all these podcasts. It's great. You're reading these books, but how much you actually taken away? And that, that struck me. And I was like, yeah, I'm not taking much away from these. I'm consuming a lot, but I can't even always remember, you know, hours later when Lindsey asked me what I listened to.
[00:04:47] I'm like, uh, I don't know, but it was really good. I can't really remember the takeaways because I listen to podcasts two, three, four in a row sometimes when you're in and you're just like consuming, but never taking from it [00:05:00] now. I'm going, gonna, uh, jump to the good part of the story because I took action.
[00:05:06] I identified the bridge, the gap that was there, and I was like, okay, I'm going to bridge this gap. I'm going to get more organized around this. So I, I started looking for, okay, how do I get more organized with this? And I stumbled upon go from Ryan Holiday. He's a great, great author. He's written things.
[00:05:23]obstacle is the way is, uh, one of his big books. Ego's the enemy. Uh, he's got some, some great writing out there, both in books and his articles. And he was talking about this organizing system for all the stuff that he's learning. Where it's a bunch of note cards. It's this filing system where it's kind of like the old library setups, where it has all the, uh, the note cards and the different little, little drawer in, and you have the different, uh, No separating systems organized.
[00:05:50] And basically what the strategy was was you, you read a book, you read through it, you underline it, you bookmark it. You turn the page over things that stood out to you. [00:06:00] You let it sit for a little bit, and then you go back to each book you read. And you rewrite those notes. You categorize them too. So if you're trying to categorize, say leadership, you go through and things have stood out and leadership, you would write leadership on the card and you would take your notes out and you would file in the leadership section.
[00:06:16] So you found something on finance or on health. You would take notes on that and file it away. Great system in, in theory, great system. Uh, and this would be for podcasts. You listen to books, you read needless to say, I failed pretty bad at this. I'm pretty sure that the organizing system that I got from Amazon is still sitting up in our closet.
[00:06:36] You know, maybe there's. 10 note cards in there is something that are organized actually after this. I'm kind of curious to go back and look at what actually made the cut, but needless to say, I failed at this. I found the, how, I didn't really have a, uh, why this was so important. I heard it on a podcast. I said, Oh, that, that sounds, that sounds sweet.
[00:06:54] I'm going to go find out how to do that. And I'm just going to start taking action in it about the note cards about the organization [00:07:00] system did not follow through with it. That's a fail and my wife still gives me a hard time for it. That's definitely not the only thing that I've taken action on and not seen all the way through, but all these things that I've personally run into, come back to not having a strong why when I don't follow through now, years later, um, I'm back in the same situation probably in the last six months, I've identified the exact same problem.
[00:07:24] So identified it before my system failed. I went back to just consuming. And came back to the same realization back around a couple of years later, um, I've been doing too much consuming and not enough retention, but this time around thankfully, uh, a couple of years more mature. My why in this example. So this time around for wanting to be more organized is that I want to be the best version of myself for my family, my friends and the businesses we're running.
[00:07:51] I can't lead others. If I can't lead myself, if I'm not organized, how do I expect other people to be organized? And how do I expect the clients I'm working with to [00:08:00] implement these things? If I'm just, if I'm just talking about it, but not actually doing it. So my why a little stronger this time around and when we can emotionally connect to our why then the, how tends to figure itself out.
[00:08:11] So this is big guys. When we emotionally connect to our why the, how it tends to figure itself out. So this time around, I didn't go searching for the, how I identified. Why w why am I even doing this? I heard, I heard this again. The realization came back up. Why do I want to take this extra effort to get organized, to do this?
[00:08:30] Because trust me guys, it's, it's easier to just listen to a podcast and feel, you know, feel charged up, feel a little more successful and, you know, just to table it for later and be like, Oh yeah, maybe I'll come back to that. Or that was great. That was inspirational. But we can read books and say, okay, that's great.
[00:08:46] I took something from that, but what's the next book I want to read. If we're not applying these things, that's a, it's not doing ourselves a service. Uh, The best service. That's not doing those around us, servicing them the best we can. If we want to lead ourselves, we have to be [00:09:00] organized. We have to be applying.
[00:09:02] And when I, when I found that why first then the, how became easy. Now I keep a Google drive folder that can be updated at any time. And it's one that I actually regularly review. It's easy to search, uh, can type quick notes on my phone. Some things are much longer, you know, full like book type summary.
[00:09:19] Some are just brief notes from a podcast, the things I want apply, and I'll go back and I'll regularly review these things. But the, see, see, that's the difference though? The, how is figured out now that the Y is, and it's something that I'm able to keep up with. It's an easier system for me, uh, for some people maybe that no card system sounds like a better thing.
[00:09:38] It's something that you can more easily keep up with, but the, how is not nearly as important as the why. Now to see this in a more serious example in the clients we work with through our PT and coaching businesses, we see people all the time coming to us, frustrated and overwhelmed, completely overwhelmed.
[00:09:55] Years of pain, poor health, continued setbacks. Every time they [00:10:00] made a choice to invest in themselves, they got excited. They, they tried that new diet. They tried that surgery that failed. They tried making, uh, a step towards bettering themselves, but it only got them so far. And you want to know the difference in those that do well with us time and time again, and those that don't, it's a strong and burning motivation to do whatever it takes to work towards the life that they want to be living.
[00:10:25] Setbacks will come both in those that succeed and those that fail those that succeed aren't any more skilled. They're not any more talented. They're not any more motivated at the start. Here's the key difference guys. And I want to, I want to really dive deep into this because the key differences that people aren't more motivated at the start, those that succeed are not any more motivated at the start of making that step.
[00:10:48] And we can't always tell the difference on day one who has a stronger, why who's identified that stronger purpose, because like I said, excitement runs high. Anytime you make a decision to level up. I think about people on new year's every year. [00:11:00] And that's why we're having these goal-setting podcasts because people get so excited about setting goals.
[00:11:04] And I want people to see that it's not just about writing goals down and getting excited for a little bit. There's so much more that goes into this, and you have to tie this into emotion. You have to tie this into your purpose, into your being. If you want to level up. Because everyone's going to have excitement come January 1st, anyone that's, you know, even the slight Slade to spit motivated is going to be passionate to make some change after the holidays, they didn't need as well, or you're feeling a little off.
[00:11:29] You want to make that change. But the difference in those that succeed in those that don't is revealed in times of setbacks. And as that initial excitement wears off, I don't have the numbers in front of me, but I know it's crazy high that people that by February 1st have. Completely abandoned their, their new year's resolutions.
[00:11:47] But those that see the most success and change the lives of not only themselves, but those around them are fueled by something bigger than just getting healthy more than just getting out of pain more than just finding external success or having a certain [00:12:00] amount of money. They're motivated by an internal, why.
[00:12:03] That allows them to overcome obstacles, setbacks, and even people around them telling them that you're crazy. And, um, if you, if you set a big goal, that's how you know, you're on the right track. If people around you are telling you, Hey, you should, you should tone that down a little bit. Or that's, that's not the safer the, you know, necessarily the smartest thing to do.
[00:12:22] You're probably on the right track then, but that can be hard if you don't have, if you're not tied into your emotions, if you're not tied into why this goal is so important, it's gonna, it's gonna flop. It's going to fizzle out. But this is the kind of clarity and purpose you will need to succeed. So now you can buy into the importance of identifying your personal reason behind why you want to achieve the things that you do.
[00:12:43] What are some things to keep in mind? Let's talk three strategies here. Three strategies. You're going to want to get dialed in to get the most out of setting and achieving big goals and dreams. First thing here, get to the real, why I touched on this briefly and a week ago and our first goal [00:13:00] setting episode.
[00:13:02] But you want to go five wise, deep. Okay. So you want to lose weight? This is a common one, especially come new year. Many people trying to get healthy. They want to lose some weight. That's fine. That's it? Nothing wrong with that goal? I want to lose 20 pounds. Great. Let's let's get started on it, but first let's, let's get to the real reason of why you want to lose 20 pounds.
[00:13:20] Because I guarantee you losing 20 pounds is not going to carry you through the, uh, the tough times when, when there's snacks or other options in front of you. When you're tired after a long day, and you don't want to go work out or go for that run, that goal alone lose 20 pounds is not going to carry you through it.
[00:13:37] But why do you want to lose 20 pounds? Well, I want to look better. Okay. That's uh, another, another common one. Why, why do you want to look better though? Looking better also is not going to get you any closer to achieving that goal. I want to feel more confident. Okay. Now we're at least going from external to do something internal confidence.
[00:13:54] We've identified some. Yeah. Why do you want to, why do you want to feel more confident? I want to be an example [00:14:00] for my wife and my kids with my actions. We're getting warmer now. That's, uh, that's something that's moving from this external goal. I want to lose 20 pounds to this internal goal. I want to be more confident to this internal goal that affects others.
[00:14:13] I want to be an example for my wife and my kids with my actions. Now some people that's, that's maybe a strong enough, a strong enough why for you guys, this is going to be very individualized, but keep trying to push a little further. Why do you want to be an example for your wife and your kids through your actions?
[00:14:28] I want my body to be an external reflection of the strong and accountable man. That'll show up as every single day. Now we're getting now we're on fire guys. That's, that's something that is going to carry you a lot more than lose 20 pounds. Who's going to do better. The person who says I want to lose 20 pounds this year, the person who says I want to lose 20 pounds this year, because I know I can do more.
[00:14:52] I want my body to be an external reflection of the strong and accountable man that I will show up as every single day. I know who I'm betting on in that, [00:15:00] in that race and the person that can connect that to their, why connect that to the emotion. I want to do this for others. This is the reason this is so important.
[00:15:08] That's going to carry you far. It's going to carry you through those setbacks. So that's the first thing guys, get to the real, why the second thing master the why to your goals? Like I said, at the start big goals, big goals require a big why. Do you want to make an extra $500 this year? That doesn't require that strong of a why?
[00:15:25] There's lots of creative ways you can do to scrape up $500 in a hurry in a weekend easily. But if you want to start a business that generates $5 million and impacts millions of people around the world, you better have a why that you can run through walls with. So that's super important guys to keep in mind that not all goals require a big why.
[00:15:43] There are certain things that we have, you know, those small goals, like I said, making an extra $500, those small goals of, I feel like I'm dehydrated recently. I should, I should drink more water now. You don't need to set this enormous. Why that you can run through Wells with, to drink 128 ounces drink a gallon of water a day.
[00:16:00] [00:15:59] That's not needed. You don't need to get yourself all amped up to drink more water, just, uh, you know, have some habits in place of when to make a little tally. Every time I felt this water bottle and I needed to make a Teles. By the end of the day, there are strategies we can put in place for those smaller goals.
[00:16:12] Don't I don't say don't waste the energy on those for your why, but for those ones that are longer term, those ones that are making you feel a little uncomfortable inside, you better have a big why to match it. So first thing, get to the real why second thing, master the why to your goals there. Third thing here, revisit your why regularly.
[00:16:31] You can't rely on emotions and excitement alone to get you the next level in your relationships and your health and your business, your career, or your finances. This is something you have to regularly review, whether it's a formal or an informal process, doesn't matter. You just have to keep this front of mine and revisit this regularly to remember why it's so important to achieve this.
[00:16:51] Again, there's going to be people that come February. They set the same weight loss goal person, a and person B set the same goal. But the person who stopped at lose 20 pounds [00:17:00] is going to have a much harder time seeing through the tough days, then the person who has that stronger, deeper why to make sure revisit this regularly, because setbacks are going to come up.
[00:17:10] Things are going to get tough, but this emotion, this reason behind why you're doing it, your purpose, your why, these are the things that are going to carry you through. So those are the three things guys, just to recap. First thing, get to the real, why second thing mash the why to your goals. And third thing, revisit your why regularly.
[00:17:28] Now I want to leave you guys with the take action takeaway. So something I want to include a more of these shows here, just to give you guys some, some actionable things, one actionable thing you can take and run with, because this is something that is important to me because. Even from the silly example before, I don't want you guys to just consume it.
[00:17:45] I don't want you guys just listening to podcasts, checking off the list, go on to the next one, finding the next inspirational thing to get you amped up while you're listening to it and then failing to take action on any of this. I want there to be actionable things. Doesn't have to be anything big, but something you can take [00:18:00] and run with.
[00:18:00] So today's take action. Takeaway is go through your five whys. Go through this five whys activity, five wise, deep with a goal you've either already set are going to be setting. Take some time alone with this and in quiet, just take some time with this. Don't don't rush this process and really work through this and find the real reason you're chasing those dreams, because imagine being able to stay focused, stay excited, and actually achieve those big goals that God placed on your heart.
[00:18:28] This is not just available for the most successful people to access. Anyone can make the decision to follow their dreams and their passions with the right mindset and the right process for getting you there. Now, if you guys want even more guidance on this, if you want the full process we use personally with the clients we work with, I've linked up in the show notes.
[00:18:44] The five steps to achieve your big goals. It's a free download. There's a full workbook that comes along with it. There's a video screen-share I did talking you guys through the whole process to give you guys even a little more clarity on it. If you guys want that full process, I would encourage you guys to go ahead to the link in the show notes there.
[00:19:00] [00:19:00] Uh, it's man-made for more.com/big hyphen goals. I'd go check that out and download that guys work through this, especially if it's, if it's a new year time that you're going through this, it's important because we go through the identifying your why and your purpose. We go through taking these big daunting goals and breaking them into daily actionable things, which we're going to talk about here next week with you guys.
[00:19:22] If you guys want a little more guidance with that, encourage you to download it. Even if you're listening to this in June of 21. Go download it. You don't have to wait for new years. Trust me. Don't wait for new year's to start setting goals and getting clear on what's most important. Go take action on that now.
[00:19:37] And, uh, guys go do big things. You guys are capable of it. Get the processes in place. Uh, we're gonna, we're gonna fall to the, uh, the power of our systems to make sure we have these strong systems in place to be regularly reviewing these things regularly, setting these things so that we can continue to show up best for.
[00:19:53] Uh, as ourselves so we can show up best for others guys. I appreciate every one of you. I hope you guys [00:20:00] have a great Christmas because I, if you guys are listening to this, uh, live at least, or at day of launch, I think we're on Christmas week here coming up, but, uh, enjoy the holidays. Guys. Enjoy some time with, with family, with relationships, with those around you.
[00:20:12] By continue to take those, those small steps towards the person you want to become. And it starts with taking action on these things. Don't just hear it and say, that sounds great. Make sure you're actually implementing. Guys. I love you. Appreciate you. And I will talk to you guys soon.
[00:20:26]Thanks so much for listening to today's episode of the Men Made For More podcast, I hope you found today's show valuable, and you have some actionable strategies you can apply to your life today. This is your first time listening. Thanks for being here. The aim of this podcast is to provide a ton of the best possible content to help you grow in your journey, to becoming the best version of yourself.
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[00:21:04] I can't thank you enough for investing in yourself in the show. Please make sure to share this with a friend or post on social media and tag me with your favorite part from today's show. If you haven't already make sure to join the Men Made For More Facebook group to be a part of a community of like-minded men that are elevating their game and living for more by searching men made for more on Facebook.
[00:21:23] Keep challenging yourself growing and know that it's okay to get out of your comfort zone and know that you're made for more. Thanks for listening and see you guys soon.
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