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Men Made For More Podcast Ep 144: Fail Quickly and Fail Forward Towards Success

mindset Apr 20, 2021

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Most men fear failure, but in reality, you should be chasing failure if you want to see success in any area of your life. Failure is key to learning and growing - but it is also uncomfortable. Learn why failing quickly is so important and how to make sure you’re failing forward on your way to success.


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Men Made For More Podcast Episode 144: Fail Quickly and Fail Forward Towards Success

[00:00:00] Dave: [00:00:00] Hey there mighty man. I'm your host, Dr. Dave Paczkowski founder of Men Made for more coaching, our business helps husbands level up their life. Their leadership and their legacy in marriage and in business. The purpose of this podcast is to bring together like-minded men that feel destined for big things in their life to provide you the resources and community that you need to lead yourself, your family and your business.

[00:00:26] If you've ever felt overwhelmed, frustrated, lost, or alone on your journey to a better and more purposeful life, you're in the right spot. You weren't designed to be average. So it's time to quit living that way today. I'm giving you permission to unlock your true potential and step into all that you were made for.


[00:00:45]What's up guys. Welcome to today's men made for more podcasts episode, stoked to have you guys with me here today. I love being able to pour into you guys. Thank you guys for investing in yourself, investing in the [00:01:00] podcast. And I love hearing how you guys are growing in our side conversations in between podcasts, for all those that are reaching out and given, given feedback, given support.

[00:01:09] I love you guys for being able to continue the continue, the conversations. That's where a lot of the growth happens. So thank you guys for investing in yourselves and I'm excited for today's topic because we are talking all about. Failure. Why am I excited about that? People hate failure. Failure sucks, but it is also the key to success.

[00:01:31] So even though it sucks, it is something that is necessary to get to the level of success that you want. It's not a, it's not optional. It's not, how do we avoid failure? It's really all about. Failing quickly and failing towards success. And most men fear failure, but you should really be chasing it. You should be chasing failure.

[00:01:49] If you want to see a success in any area of your life. And this does apply to all areas, which we'll be talking about here today, but failure is the key to learning and growing. [00:02:00] Yeah, but it's also really uncomfortable. So let's learn why failing quickly so important and how to make sure you're failing forward so that you're not wasting your failures, that you're not doing it in vain, but that you're failing forward on your way to success.

[00:02:15] So most, uh, like I said, most people do not want to talk about failures. You don't want to think about failure. It's, uh, it keeps us playing small. It keeps us inside those, those comfort zones, which is not where the growth happens. The fear of failure and the fear to step outside that comfort zone is one of the number one reasons.

[00:02:34] If not, probably the number one reason why men don't experience the growth they want in a given area of their life. And remember this applies to everything. So you might, you might be really good at, uh, you know, leaning in a failure and you're in your physical, physical life, your physical body, your fitness, but maybe in relationships, this is hard for you or financially to know that this is something that applies to every single area of our life.

[00:03:00] [00:03:00] And failure is uncomfortable, but it is necessary to live the life. I know you guys are capable of living. So when we talk about what this looks like in a given area of your life, it could be, you know, you could have that fear of failure in, in business, the ability to put yourself out there with a new offer launch, just letting people know that you're starting a business and how they can help and is scary.

[00:03:22] That is, that is something that runs the risk of failure and rejection. This could be in your relationships of not really expressing your feelings or telling your, your spouse or your friends or your family, how you truly feel your preferences are voicing those things. This is the fear of failure because you're, again, risking rejection, risking, you know, putting yourself out there and not getting the response you want.

[00:03:45] This could be in your health, never fully committing to that new diet, the gym or workout plan, the fear of not getting the results that you want. So you never start at all or, or even worse. You, you kind of go into it, but I, you kind of go 50% at it knowing that, [00:04:00] well, if I, if I don't put full effort into it, then I can at least write off an excuse to myself and others on why I didn't get the results I want.

[00:04:08] It could be financially choosing not to save or invest due to a fear of investing in the wrong things. It could be spiritually never stepping foot into a church or pursuing a new spiritual practice in fear of being judged or due to poor past experiences. This was me guys that I've been there. So I get it.

[00:04:26] And guys, this, this is something that the more you become aware of this and the more you can accept failure as something necessary to get you to your next level, it's going to become. And I don't want to say it's going to become easier. It's going to become more, more natural, more acceptable failure, and rejection is never easy.

[00:04:45] Let's, let's clear that up. It doesn't get any easier to get rejected from someone, but if we know the bigger vision, if we know the reason why we're leaning into that failure, then that's, uh, that's gonna, that's gonna make it a little [00:05:00] more. Yeah, it's gonna, it's gonna allow us to stomach it a little easier because we know that that's just one step closer to where I want to be.

[00:05:06] That's one step closer to my bigger vision. And I've experienced this multiple times in multiple areas of my life guys. Uh, when starting our first business, our physical therapy business inside out strength and performance. I was terrified to tell family and friends and to put myself out there on social media that I was starting this business because I'd never started a business before.

[00:05:27] I had no idea what I was doing. And I, I had this incredible belief in myself and my vision, but I didn't really have any strategies of how I was going to work out. I was going to work out. So I was terrified to tell people, because what if I started it and I failed, like, what are people gonna think of me if I've, you know, I've, I've seen success in other areas of my life, why would I go into this uncertain thing that might fail?

[00:05:51] And guys you're going to, you're going to lean into those uncertain things because that's where the magic happens. That's where our passions are. That's where our true difference in impact is. [00:06:00] So don't let failure keep you from doing that, but just know I was terrified to, to do that. And then you start seeing people I'm terrified to tell them what, what I'm selling and what we're doing, because what if they say no, But the sooner you get over this, the better life is going to be across all areas of your life.

[00:06:18] And it's going to be an ongoing process because I finally got over this in our, in our PT business. And then I go into something else uncomfortable. I started another business, a coaching business for men, something I'm passionate about, something I'm gifted at. And it's still scary though. I'd already gone through all the experience of, of getting, getting over that, getting better with getting over it.

[00:06:40] And then new opportunity, same fear of failure, same, uh, hesitation around telling people same hesitation around. Asking for feedback and saying, Hey, how, how are we doing? What do you guys think of this podcast? What, like, what are you guys enjoying in this Facebook group? What, uh, asking the people I'm coaching.

[00:06:58] Like, are you getting the results you [00:07:00] want? That's, that's scary when we start out something, uh, something new because. You're going to hear things that you might need to hear, but don't want to hear, but the more you can do that and things will take off for you guys, because you're going to get the real feedback that you need instead of just a perception in your head of, of what you might think is going to happen.

[00:07:18] Because a lot of times that the failure failure or the rejection you fear is mostly made up in your head. It's not, uh, it's not to the degree or it's not to the reality that you might think it is. So guys to talk some practical things you guys to take away here. First thing, see failure as feedback. And this sounds so simple and you might roll your eyes at X it's like, okay, I get, I need to see this feedback, but that doesn't make it any easier that doesn't help me out.

[00:07:48] But if we can see this feedback, we can see it as simply learning. That's all it is. Failure is a learning opportunity. Then we can welcome it. When we start out riding a bike, [00:08:00] we don't get it right the first time. But feedback on, Oh, I leaned way too far this way. And I fell. I don't want to do that again.

[00:08:06] Our body starts to our body and our minds start to make the proper adjustments. Same. Thing's going to happen with putting yourself out there in business or in a relationship you're going to mess up. You're going to fail and you're going to be able to see it as a learning opportunity though, of. Hey, I don't want that to happen again.

[00:08:21] What can I do to improve it? So note, this is all just feedback. It's, it's nothing more than that. It's, it's really nothing more. It's nothing to be afraid of. It's gotten such a bad, a bad rep, this whole failure thing. Uh, but it's something we really want to welcome speaking to that second strategy.

[00:08:37] Welcome rejection because success is out there. It just doesn't happen the first time around. You're going to have to. Fail and fail and learn and learn and learn until you start to figure out what that is that, uh, that is needed, what those steps are needed to, uh, to succeed. If, uh, if people don't, if you start a business and people don't pay you money on the first [00:09:00] day, like.

[00:09:00] Keep putting yourself out there because eventually you're going to find the right people and the right, uh, right opportunities are going to present themselves. You're not going to go to the gym one day and suddenly get fit. Like you're going to fail. You're going to mess up. You're going to get too sore.

[00:09:12] You're not going to do enough. You're going to eat the wrong things. Just know that this is all part of the process of, of learning and growing. Assuming you can I reflect and review on and why that's, why you're getting the results or not getting the results that you're after. So third thing. I can't stress this enough, just get started and do the thing guys.

[00:09:31] Don't don't plan. Don't don't over overthink it. You're never going to be ready. Time's never going to be perfect. You're never going to have it all figured out the quicker you fail, the quicker you learn. And I ran into this so many times early on with, uh, different products and services. We're playing around with price points and our offerings.

[00:09:50] Uh, put a lot of things out there and. Got a lot of crickets got a lot of, uh, no interest or, uh, you know, little, little [00:10:00] investment in terms of, uh, you know, what we were, what we were hoping to give. Right. And I could take that personally, or I could simply learn from it, say, Hey, that's not what people are looking for.

[00:10:12] So let's try again. Let's try it again. And it wasn't the first time. It wasn't the second time, but you do it enough times. You get feedback and be willing to put yourself out there and say, Hey, what, like, what could we do better on this? What, what, uh, what didn't you like about it? What wasn't interesting about it, and those things might hurt because you hold those things, uh, to a higher value than other people might.

[00:10:32] But that starts to help us refine our product, our service, and the same thing can be applied across any area of your life. Less. Uh, last thing I want to talk about here. You're only going to fail forward if you can actually learn from it. So we have see failures feedback, welcome rejection, just get started.

[00:10:51] And then you have to learn from it though, because failure is going to come. No that it's going to come, but you have to be able to learn from it and grow from it. So use a, I [00:11:00] wouldn't call an after action plan. You something of a reviewing after you put something out there, you put yourself out there. It doesn't go the way you want.

[00:11:08] Ask yourself a few questions. What went well? You're always going to be doing some, some well with it. It's not. And that's another misconception is that, Oh, what? I was just a complete flip failure. It's like, no, you probably did some things really well. And just by putting yourself out there, like Pat yourself on the back for that list out, what one?

[00:11:25] Well, but then list out what can be improved and ask for feedback on this. Say, Hey, where can, where can we improve on this? Take the self-inventory of self feedback. Where could I, could I have put more effort in, could I have done something differently? And the third important question is what's the next best step that I can take.

[00:11:44] Once you have all this information, you have this what's the next best step that I can take. And this is, this question alone can just catapult your results in your success because you're going to get in this process of failing, reviewing. And refining, [00:12:00] and you're going to continue to know what the next best step is.

[00:12:02] You're not going to know what it is, but you're going to get better at identifying what that is. And then you're in continue to refine and refine and sharpen yourself, sharpen yourself. And all of a sudden you're gonna find yourself making quicker decisions, making better decisions and making true, meaningful progress.

[00:12:17] So guys, there's some, some tactical things for you. Uh, one other thing that was, uh, actually just came into my mind is as we were talking here too, that something I didn't, I didn't mention didn't necessarily have planned for, but. You guys need to know that a failure is not a reflection on you as a person or your talents or what you're doing.

[00:12:37] And this is a, this is super important. And just something I've had to say as we wrap up here, because it's easy to look at when we fail and fail. When we fail in something and say, I'm a failure, don't label yourself as that. Don't say I'm a failure or I failed or anything like that. This, this thing you put out there failed, or this, this workout I tried didn't work.

[00:12:57] What can I learn from it? That doesn't mean that you're a failure. [00:13:00] So make sure you take that out of your language and know that it doesn't say anything about your gifts, your talents, your passions, your identity, just know that, uh, That the things, my fail, but you are not a failure. And that's an important thing to wrap up on here because you're going to fail, but you are not a failure.

[00:13:19] You're just going to learn from it. You're an overcomer. You're going to continue to grow and refine on your way to doing some big things. So keep that in mind, guys. Uh, your take action takeaway. Go lean into it. Go get started on something. I guarantee you, I can predict there's something you've been putting off.

[00:13:36] Something you need to be doing. Something you know, is important in relationships and your health in your work, in your spiritual life. Go take the first step in that. Don't overthink it. Just lean into it, step into it, fail, learn again, except that as the process. So guys, I'm so thankful for you guys leaning into this and a failure is uncomfortable.

[00:13:57] It's not, it's still not comfortable for me, [00:14:00] but, uh, your skin will, will toughen up over time to go apply these things. Uh, guys, if you need some extra resources, we've got a ton of them. Uh, one specifically that's, uh, been a real popular download from, from people. Recently is our master your morning mindset.

[00:14:14] This is the seven power strategies you can use to get mentally and physically, right. To start your day. Uh, go check that out in the show notes. It's a free download for you guys. Uh, we've got, got a bunch of other ones. So if you guys want any resources, just to message me on Instagram, text me and, uh, we'll be happy to get you.

[00:14:31] We got a ton of free resources we put out, uh, for all the. The people listening in to the show here. So, uh, text me if you guys are looking for some additional resources, some additional support, if anything, struck a chord with you in today's podcast, make sure to let me know. I love continuing the dialogue with you guys in between shows.

[00:14:47] So thanks so much for investing in yourself. Guys, go crush today and I'll talk to you guys soon.


[00:14:53] Thanks for listening today, guys, unbelieving that even if you apply one thing from today's show, you're taking one step [00:15:00] closer to living as the man you were made to be meaningful change doesn't happen overnight. So keep showing up and keep consistent every single day until good things start to happen.

[00:15:10] If you haven't already taken 60 seconds to write a review on whatever platform you're listening on, goes a long way in growing this podcast and reaching other men, just like you, that are hungry for more in their life. Do you have any questions on today's show feedback or content you want to see more of shoot me a text.

[00:15:27] Yeah, text me (760) 477-4361 at (760) 477-4361. Let me know that you're listening to it. And so I can personally thank you for your support of myself and the show. That's it for today, guys, it's time to raise your standard for yourself. Stop settling for just getting by, go all in on your passions in the Lightroom made for a lot of you guys and talk to you soon.

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