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Men Made For More Podcast Episode 136: Overcome Self - Limiting Beliefs

mindset Mar 23, 2021

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Men Made For More Podcast Episode 136: Overcome Self - Limiting Beliefs

Self-limiting beliefs will rob you of your potential and purpose that you have for your life. Any positive change or effort to up level will eventually be sabotaged if you don’t address these limiting beliefs and negative stories that are on repeat in your head. As men, we all have these bouncing around our heads, whether we like to admit it or not. However, the biggest problem is that these are mostly subconscious - meaning we don’t even know they’re there. If you find yourself continuing to get stuck or hit a plateau when you push for progress - it’s time to bust through that artificial ceiling you’re putting on yourself and your life.

 

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I love hearing from you guys. Shoot me a DM on Instagram at @DrDavePac or text me at (760) 477-4361 and let me know your biggest takeaway from today’s listen.

Overcome Self-Limiting Beliefs

[00:00:00] Dave:  Hey there mighty men I'm your host, Dr. Dave Paczkowski founder of Men Made For More Coaching, our business helps husbands level up their life. Their leadership and their legacy in marriage and in business. The purpose of this podcast is to bring together like-minded men that feel destined for big things in their life to provide you the resources and community that you need to lead yourself, your family and your business.

[00:00:27] If you've ever felt overwhelmed, frustrated, lost, or alone on your journey to a better and more purposeful life, you're in the right spot. You weren't designed to be average. So it's time to quit living that way today. I'm giving you permission to unlock your true potential and step into all that you were made for.

[00:00:45]What's up guys. Welcome to today's episode of the men made for more podcast as always, I'm excited to be here with you guys. I'm excited for you listening in and investing in yourself today. I have a topic that I'm very passionate about [00:01:00] because this is something that I've had to work through over a lot of years, I've had to help clients work through a lot of years of.

[00:01:07] Kind of just unpeeling this stuff and, and that's overcoming self-limiting beliefs and these stories that we're telling ourselves, because these beliefs, we have these self limiting beliefs will Rob you of your potential and your purpose that you have for your life. And that's not okay. Any positive change or effort to Uplevel, whether that's physically, mentally, spiritually in business and finances in your relationships, it's going to eventually be sabotaged.

[00:01:35] If you don't address these limiting beliefs and these negative stories that are on repeat in your head. And as men, we all have these bouncing around our heads, whether we like to admit it or not, they're there. However, the biggest problem is that these are mostly subconscious, which means we don't even know they're there, they're running in the background.

[00:01:53] So if you find yourself continuing to get stuck or you keep hitting this plateau, whenever you push for progress, whenever you push for [00:02:00] growth, because it's time to bust through that artificial ceiling that you're putting on yourself and your life. And I want to help you guys take the first step in doing that today.

[00:02:09] Just know the stuff isn't, uh, isn't gonna get solved overnight. Like a lot of things like anything that's meaningful, but just bringing some awareness to it and having a few practical strategies, some tactical things you can apply is going to go a long way in helping you guys start to address these self-limiting beliefs.

[00:02:26] Now, before we dive into what those. Strategies are what are self-limiting beliefs to begin with? Their assumptions about yourself can be one variation of them. So assumptions about yourself, uh, can be on how you feel your abilities are, what you feel, your talents are, your passions, your worth. That's a big one.

[00:02:44] Uh, can be assumptions about how the world works. So not just about yourself, but how the world works of, uh, you might be saying like, Oh, the, you know, the rich get richer. And, uh, you know, always assuming that certain populations are labeling as good or bad or things of just how [00:03:00] the world works of believing that.

[00:03:02] Well, they just succeeded because they're lucky. And that's a, another self limiting belief of thinking that success comes when the ball just happens to bounce the right way for the right person at the right time. And whether it's those assumptions about yourself, assumptions about how the world works.

[00:03:17] These will hold you back from greatness. These will hold you back from where you want to go. They affect your confidence, your ability to act and your ability to see things as they really are. And if I say that another way, if these are left unaddressed, they will cause you to doubt procrastinate, make excuses and justify externally.

[00:03:38] Why other things are the real problem. I want to say that again. If these are left unaddressed, they will cause you to doubt procrastinate, make excuses and justify externally. Why other things are the real problem. The cell phone we beliefs the danger with them is they force you to point the finger at others.

[00:03:55] They, they force you to say, well, God didn't create me [00:04:00] with that, with that talent. And they gave this person, they gave this person, all these, these gifts and these passions and these things that I don't have. These business skills, these looks all these things. Can, I can play Gus and force us to point the finger elsewhere.

[00:04:15] When in reality, we need a point inwards of save. What, what am I believing? What am I thinking? What do I know to be true? What can I hang my head on? That's actually true because these self limiting beliefs, they not only affect you in your mindset and your success. But if left unaddressed, they will strain relationships and push away those that matter the most.

[00:04:35] So it's one thing to let your life in your mindset be affected, but this is going to start carrying over into others in terms of the way that we're showing up for others in the way that we think we're able to show up for others, for our family, for our friends, for our community. So this is so important guys, to make sure that you're bringing awareness to, and then having a plan in place to start to address them.

[00:04:58] What are some common examples though, [00:05:00] that you might be telling yourself when it comes to some of these self-learning beliefs, what are these stories that might be on a loop on repeat? It might be that you're not worthy enough to, to receive riches, to receive success, to have fun, to have that right person, that perfect person in your life.

[00:05:17] It might be that you're too old or you're too young. You weren't born in the right family. You're not living in the right area. It's not the right time to start that business. Maybe I didn't marry the right person, guys. This one, this one kills kills me to hear cause it's killed so many marriages in relationships because we start then looking for things that are wrong with the other person versus seeing why we were compatible in the first place and why marriages can work.

[00:05:41] And trust me a news news, flash your guys, but there's never someone who's going to be absolutely perfect. And. Every area, but there's someone who's going to be just perfect for you if you allow them to be. And that's just a side note on relationships. That's so important. I see so many, you know, talk to so many guys that are struggling in a marriage and they, they think it's, [00:06:00] they start pointing fingers again, we're doing that external finger pointing of, well, they just can't, they can't meet my needs or they can't do this.

[00:06:07] When maybe there's a look in the mirror that has to happen of how am I showing up? What am I telling myself? What am I, what are those lies that might be on a loop in my head. So guys, that's it. That's a huge one in relationships in your health. It might be I'm too fat. I'm too skinny. I, I won't ever be fed.

[00:06:23] I won't ever be like that healthy person. I wasn't born with the skills I need. I don't have the money. I don't have the time. Who am I to want to live a successful life or be successful? That's only for, well, the successful people. And you guys can, you guys can see when we talk through these things that there's, there's flaws in this thinking, because you can look at any one of those examples and you can find someone who could have easily told themselves that story, someone who could have had that belief.

[00:06:48] Someone that turned it around and achieved incredible success in one or many areas because of the belief in themselves to not give in to self [00:07:00] limiting beliefs, but the belief that they are important enough, they are worthy enough. And guys, I'm here to tell you that you are, you are all those things. If you want to be.

[00:07:08] Does that mean that everyone's going to be able to go and dunk a basketball just because they, they think it and they will it, no, absolutely not. Um, I'm far from it. I was in born with that gift. But guys that doesn't mean that there's not things we can do to, uh, make some incredible change in these areas where we feel stuck, where we feel limited, where we feel like we're just pushing and meeting resistance.

[00:07:30] Maybe it's because we're driving with the, with the brake on too. We have the e-brake on and we're trying to push the gas, but we have these self-limiting beliefs telling these loops, telling these stories that are just slowing us down. And be aware of the following other, uh, traps, if you will, that can exaggerate this words.

[00:07:47] Like always never saying things like that won't work because, and any other generalizations around why something is either good or bad or any justification of why you can't have something. [00:08:00] Or even looking for reassurance from others to confirm your thoughts. If you find yourself trying to dig for people to confirm, like, yeah, yeah.

[00:08:08] That's, that's why you're right. The time isn't right for that business. That's why you don't have that money. Or, you know, the time is just not right on, on getting healthy or. We can tell, we can tell all these, all these stories that just aren't true. If we start looking for reassurance from others, does tell us what we want to hear.

[00:08:25] If we go dig and deep enough, so that can only strengthen. That's only going to strengthen those, those stories that are already there. So we have to be aware of it. Avoid those, uh, absolute words. Always, never things always, uh, always seem to go right for that person. Things never, never go my way. I'm never, I'm never lucky.

[00:08:42] I can never catch a break. Oh no, that won't work because the economy, because of X, Y, or Z, be careful about these absolute words. And, uh, these, these examples can come in in big ways and small ways. And you, you guys will be surprised as you start bringing awareness to them. [00:09:00] How often these things might be creeping up in your life if you've never given it thought, if you've never given it conscious awareness, it's going to be eyeopening of, of all the things that are out there.

[00:09:09] And I was having a conversation with one of my coaching clients. Uh who's who's in business for himself in business with his wife. And, uh, there was just these, we weren't even, you weren't specifically talking about business at the time, but he had, he had made a couple comments around, along the lines of.

[00:09:25] Like, Oh yeah. Well, I don't really want to set a, I don't really want to set a revenue goal because, and I forget his exact reason was something along the lines of, you know, I don't want to just like, make it all about the money or I don't want to, you know, just, just drive for money. I don't want to be like that.

[00:09:41] And another common he had later was about around marketing where he's, he's having trouble growing, growing their business beyond themselves. They're successful as, as a husband, wife, but they haven't been able to bring on staff yet. They haven't been able to consistently get the marketing to where they want to be.

[00:09:55] And, uh, talking about marketing and ask him what he's been doing about it. And he's like, Oh yeah, [00:10:00] marketing. It just kind of sleazy. And it's, uh, you know, it's, it's not something I really want to really want to get too much into. And these were two. You know, two stories that are coming up for him, and I'm sure there's others that will get revealed over time.

[00:10:13] But two stories specifically of one, I don't want to set a revenue goal because I don't want it to be all about the money. That's assuming that money is bad. That's assuming that that's this picture you have, you might have in your head of, Oh, well, if I make all this money, I'm going to, I'm going to be like that.

[00:10:29] Rich person that you have pictured in your head. That's, you know, just blowing money and, and not, not doing anything good. And that's, that's a lie. That's not a, that's not a true thing, everyone with money. I'm sure you guys. No. And I'm sure there's even more people that you meet, that you don't realize how much money they have because they're using in a way that they're giving back more money, allows us to give back, to support our families, to do those things.

[00:10:52] Money is not all bad. It's how we use it. It's a, it's a tool to be able to pursue our dreams, to give jobs to [00:11:00] other people. If we're in business, to be able to, uh, give back to our communities, to our churches. Money is money is not all bad, but that, that simple comment of why I don't want to do that because I see that as bad.

[00:11:10] That's that's a subtle lie. That's that's being looped in, in his head specifically. And so many others I've talked to you though. He's he's definitely not the only one, but the other thing too, with marketing is bad. You see a, you see one bad marketing experience or you think of the used car sales experience that people, someone just badgered you into buying a sale and you felt bad about it.

[00:11:28] So you say, I don't want to be like that. I don't want to get into marketing and sales. But if you're in business guys, that's the lifeblood of your business. So you can, uh, you can choose to not do it and write it off as well. That's I don't want to be, I don't want to be too pushy. I don't want to be, you know, to whatever that thought is that you have in your mind.

[00:11:45] But guys you're gonna have to get over that because marketing is not bad. Sales are not bad, that's just communication. And if we have a service that someone needs, it's our job to communicate that it's our job to, to be selling that, to be able to do that with confidence and to be able to do it in a [00:12:00] way that's loving and not pushy and not bad, there's, there's good ways to do it.

[00:12:04] And there are bad ways to do it. But again, it's that always, it was always words of, well, I, I have this picture in my head that that is not a good thing. So I'm not going to do that. So guys, those are just a couple examples that I wanted to highlight specifically of just showing you guys the possibility of how these things can manifest in your day to day living.

[00:12:22] But once you identify these things, uh, what, what are the steps to, to actually address it, to start to, you know, erase these things? Cause if they're subconscious, we don't have complete control over them, at least at first, but we can start to reverse that we can start to, uh, change the way that we're speaking to ourselves.

[00:12:40] So the first step is to raise awareness. That's, that's a, that's a given, but it's also the most important step. You can't fix what you can't see. If you don't know what these things are going on, it's gonna be impossible to try and address them to try and fix them. So you have to bring awareness to them.

[00:12:57] And if you guys have never thought about this before and never, you know, [00:13:00] heard something similar to this, or maybe you've heard it and you haven't given it conscious thought in a while, I would encourage you to just observe, observe the language, the words you're speaking out loud. The words you're speaking inside your head.

[00:13:11] And what things are you you talking about? How are you talking to, to others about your problems? Start to raise awareness and see what you can identify after you bring awareness to it, speak life into your dreams. So don't speak death into them. Don't say I can never have this because, or that won't work because use affirmations use, uh, Use speech, speak it out loud of what you want to have happen.

[00:13:35] Speak it with confidence of, if you feel like you're, you've always been overweight and you've never been able to lose those pounds and you don't deserve to be healthy. Start speaking it that you have a body that's healthy. That's fit. That's strong. That's mobile. That's pain-free that feels good. Those are the things that you want to start speaking out loud into your dreams.

[00:13:53] If you have a business that feels like isn't doing well, inject some faith into it, speak into the amount of revenue. You can have the amount [00:14:00] of people you want to impact what you're going to, what you're going to do with that money. What money you want to give back, speak, all those things out loud. Have these affirmations that you guys can use.

[00:14:09] I trust me, they seem woo. I've talked about this a lot because I was turned off from there where I'm like affirmations. That seems kinda, kinda corny, kind of weird, but I've used these myself. I know lots of my clients have used these and they work because it's. It's tricking that subconscious in a way it's training us to learn, to speak the truth over a few in our mind are those lies that we've been telling it.

[00:14:31] Another thing seek life speakers. So after you speak life in your dreams, make sure you're seeking life speakers. So what I mean by that? Borrow faith from others. If you don't fully have in yourself, if you're saying these affirmations and you're like, ah, I don't know. I'm not really feeling it. Get around people who can speak life into you, who can, who you can borrow faith from people.

[00:14:51] And I've, I've elevated my circle a lot. And I have some amazing mentors and coaches and people in my life that were able to speak life into me. And still [00:15:00] to this day, I continue to speak life into me when I don't see it. When I have these doubts, they can call me out on it and say, okay, Hey. Yeah, I don't, I don't like the way you're talking about that, of, of the confidence I have around or the words I'm choosing around it, or the excuses I have around it.

[00:15:12] We need people who can, and especially as men, we need other men in our lives that can speak that truth into us. And we need that because we're going to have times where the results aren't necessarily showing the way we want on to B, but we need people around us that can speak it as it really is.

[00:15:29] Another thing to use, uh, in this goes along with the affirmation, see it as it will be not as it is. And this is a visual as a way to use a visualization technique, visualize your finances, visualize your body, visualize your relationships, close your eyes, think vivid detail of how that would look like, how they would feel like what kind of motions will you have when you achieve that?

[00:15:50] Guys, these are, again, these techniques seem kind of corny. They seem weird, but our mind doesn't always know the difference. Our body doesn't even always know the difference between these physical reps [00:16:00] and these mental reps and athletes use this all the time to visualize their performance. And if it works for them, it can work in other areas of our lives as well, like our finances, our relationships.

[00:16:10] So make sure you're visualizing it, picturing it and see it as you want it to be as it will be not as it is right now, but see that ideal future. Last thing here, guys, uh, eliminate the negative. So we need to, after we're putting this good in, we have to make sure that we're taking the negative out of it.

[00:16:30] So this can be, uh, this can be things like, you know, people and I don't like the word eliminate for people. I said, I never liked eliminating people from your life, but be aware of, of who you're spending the most time with who you're having the most conversations with. What are those conversations like?

[00:16:43] Are they, do they leave you feeling good and uplifted or do they. Leave you feeling kinda, kinda down. Those are the things that you want to, uh, want to be aware of. Again, what are, are you looking for reassurance for them to, to tell you why it's it's okay. And it's, it's all good. And, uh, that's, [00:17:00] there's a place for that guys, people in our life that can support us when we're, when we're down.

[00:17:03] But at the same time, if we have big dreams, we can't be around people that are only saying, Oh no, it's you're, you're just not there because X, Y, or Z. Cause they're just affirming those same. Limiting beliefs that you might already be struggling with. You need eliminate the words you're saying. I hope I wish I try.

[00:17:20] I want, yeah. Be nice. If start living more confidence are speaking more confidently when you're talking to yourself, when you're talking to others and this isn't a cocky or a conceited thing, this is just having confidence. You are important enough. You are worthy enough to deserve this, those things that you are, that you're chasing after.

[00:17:37] Because if you're, if you check your heart and your heart is pier, you're not doing it just to make a lot of money to prove someone wrong. Guys there's, there's every reason why you should seek that success, that you're looking for, that you should seek that, uh, those, those big dreams that you have on your heart, and also make sure that you're being aware of the input that's coming in.

[00:17:56] So eliminate any negative input that might be a music you [00:18:00] listen to, it might be podcasts you have on might be the books you're reading. I get the news you're watching, or maybe shouldn't be watching, uh, be careful about what's coming into your mind and be careful about. Uh, the last thing you need to eliminate comfort zones, be eliminate the comfort zones.

[00:18:14] These are the things that are going to keep you playing small. And when we get outside of our comfort zone, when we take that step to get outside of, of what we might be the most comfortable with. That's when we can really have true perspective and say, Hey, that wasn't as bad as I thought, when I said I could never do that.

[00:18:30] Well, I did it. And I'm still here. It kind of creates a little, little check, a little tally in your head that you're going to be okay. You are, you are able to do this. You are strong, you are able, you are confident. So make sure that you're continuing to eliminate the comfort zone and step outside of it.

[00:18:45] People guys. And with all this. So as we have these things, we have the raise awareness, speak life and your dreams seek life speakers. See it as a will be not as it is eliminate the negative. And that includes getting outside [00:19:00] of your comfort zone. So once you have this in place, guys continue to go through this and then rinse and repeat consistency is key.

[00:19:06] You can't address these self-limiting beliefs or these stories that have probably been exaggerated over years and years. They're not going to get addressed overnight. But consistency is key. So have grace with it, but commit to it, commit to working on this daily. So your take action takeaway for today, guys identify one story that you're telling yourself that just isn't true.

[00:19:26] It might be the words you're using. It might be something you keep bringing up that doesn't doesn't have truth behind it and replace it with the truth you want to be living. So guys, that's what I got for you today. I would love to hear what you guys took away from today's show. I love hearing from you guys.

[00:19:40] I love when you guys reach out message me on Instagram or when you guys shoot me a text and just let me know what you, what you thought of things. And if you guys, uh, have a takeaway, if you have one thing that stood out to you, please reach out so we can continue the conversation. I love diving deeper into these things.

[00:19:53] A podcast is great to get the info out there. But I love having some dialogue with you guys to talk more about it. So [00:20:00] shoot me a DM on Instagram @DrDavePac, or shoot me a text (760) 477-4361. And just let me know what you guys think about it, what you guys took away and we can work through this together cause I'm in process just as much as you guys are and I'm here to support you guys.

[00:20:15] However I can. So guys, thanks for listening. Thanks for investing in yourself. And I'll talk to you guys soon.

[00:20:21] 

[00:20:21] Thanks for listening today, guys, unbelieving that even if you apply one thing from today's show, you're taking one step closer to living as the man you were made to be meaningful change doesn't happen overnight. So keep showing up and keep consistent every single day until good things start to happen.

[00:20:38] If you haven't already taken 60 seconds to write a review on whatever platform you're listening on, goes a long way in growing this podcast and reaching other men, just like you, that are hungry for more in their life. Do you have any questions on today's show feedback or content you want to see more of shoot me a text.

[00:20:55] Yeah, text me (760) [00:21:00] 477-4361 at (760) 477-4361. Let me know that you're listening to it. And so I can personally thank you for your support of myself and the show. That's it for today, guys, it's time to raise your standard for yourself. Stop settling for just getting by, go all in on your passions in the Lightroom made for a lot of you guys and talk to you soon.

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