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Men Made For More Podcast Episode 122: Overcoming Self-Limiting Beliefs

mindset Feb 02, 2021

Listen to this episode on your favorite podcast app click HERE 

Most men don't realize that self-limiting beliefs, negative self-talk, and other self-sabotaging techniques are often what's holding them back from greatness. If you have an area of your life that doesn't look the way you want it to - physically, financially, spiritually, in your relationships - then it's time to get rid of these self-limiting beliefs and replace them with a championship mindset. Because if you don't take control of your mind - someone (or something) else will. Most men fall into the traps of getting complacent in the areas of their life that matter most. It's time to change that - it's time to jumpstart your new mindset and raise your level of focus.

We are on Day 2 in our one week MINDSET jumpstart challenge - it’s not too late to join! Click the link to join the community and for all details and access to the first few days of recorded coaching calls and content

Have any questions on the challenge or on this podcast episode? Text me at (760) 477-4361

Men Made For More Podcast Episode 122: Overcoming Self-Limiting Beliefs

[00:00:00]Dave: Hey there, mighty man. I'm your host, Dr. Dave Paczkowski founder of man-made for more coaching, our business helps husbands level up their life. Their leadership and their legacy in marriage and in business. The purpose of this podcast is to bring together like-minded men that feel destined for big things in their life to provide you the resources and community that you need to lead yourself, your family and your business.

[00:00:29] If you've ever felt overwhelmed, frustrated, lost, or alone on your journey to a better and more purposeful life, you're in the right spot. You weren't designed to be average. So it's time to quit living that way today. I'm giving you permission to unlock your true potential and step into all that you were made for.

[00:00:48] What's up guys, welcome to today's show. Uh, for those that are listening to this live at launch date, uh, just quick reminder, we have our mindset mastery challenge going on right now. Awesome group of [00:01:00] guys that are going through it. And, uh, the first couple of days have been amazing. If you guys are looking to catch the recordings on that, you guys can still sign up through the link.

[00:01:08] In the show notes. So make sure to check that out. And it is not too late to at least join on the recordings and some of the last half of the calls there. So if you guys are looking to level up your mindset, go ahead and check that out. Uh, but today we are talking all about self-limiting beliefs and this is a.

[00:01:24] Popular topic one that, uh, I know a lot of guys struggle with. Uh, it's come up already in our, in our coaching calls and, uh, with individual coaching clients, something that see a lot of, and most men don't realize that these self limiting beliefs, negative self-talk and other self-sabotaging techniques are often what's holding them back from greatness.

[00:01:44] Do you have an area of your life that doesn't look exactly the way you want it to. It could be physically, financially, spiritually in your relationships. It's time to get rid of these self limiting beliefs and replace them with a championship mindset because you don't take control of your mind. I talk about this a lot, but [00:02:00] someone or something else will.

[00:02:01] And most men fall into the traps of getting complacent in the areas of their life that matter the most. And we can't be doing that. We have to live with a sense of urgency. We have to actively work on these things to create the change that we want to see. So it's time to change that. It's time to jumpstart your new mindset and raise your level of focus.

[00:02:19] And if you guys miss last week's episode on changing your mindset to change your life, I highly recommend you start there. As we dive deep into some of the power strategies needed to develop a championship mindset, but that being said, there's also, you know, more to developing that type of mindset. The more I reflected on the last episode, and as I was reviewing it, there was one piece that I felt was missing.

[00:02:42] And that's where, that's where the inspiration for, for this podcast episode came from. Because that type of mindset is great. And we want to, we want to feed that championship mindset. We want to do all those things, implement those power strategies that I talked about, but that is not going to always carry you through the highs and the lows of life.

[00:02:59] You can't [00:03:00] simply feed your mindset, all these positive things. If you're already plagued by self-limiting beliefs. And self-learning beliefs come in all shapes and sizes. It can present as a lack of confidence, doubts in your abilities, assuming the worst of every situation or of every person being stuck and thinking you'll always struggle with anger, failure, lust, greed, procrastination, insert anything in there that you struggle with thinking that I'm always going to be plagued by this.

[00:03:27] There's just this thing that I, I was born with and I have to deal with it. That's a self-limiting belief. Could be something like thinking you're too old thinking you're too young. You're not talented enough. You don't have enough education or insert any other reason of why you can't do something. And these stories that you're telling yourself.

[00:03:42] Now, if you have these, these we'll call them weeds growing in your mindset, garden, no amount of watering, the good will overtake the bad. You can feed your mindset with encouraging podcasts, self-help books and all the motivational speeches the world has to offer. But if you don't first get rid of those [00:04:00] weeds.

[00:04:00] Which are your self-limiting beliefs, those things holding you back. You're never going to have a mindset that is truly thriving without limitation. You're going to feel weighed down. You're going to feel burdened. I look, guys, I know a heart is to be plagued with these self limiting beliefs I've been there.

[00:04:15] And I'm going to talk about the head in just a minute, but, uh, these things, when these self-limiting beliefs start controlling you and bring you down, it's not a good place to be. I've been there, my own thoughts and actions telling people. I was, I was confident. Oh yeah, I'm doing good. I'm good. When in reality, deep down, we know something's, something's not right where we're plagued by these things.

[00:04:34] They're holding us down. We were put on this front of having an altogether, like, Oh yeah, I'm this business owner. I'm married, I'm doing all these things. Or I'm in PT school and you know, life's good, but like, I'm doing everything I want when in reality. Not confident on the inside. Not, not, uh, really believing in the things that I was saying.

[00:04:52] And that's the journey that I've been in over the last six months. Exactly why I created this six day mindset mastery challenge that we're going through with an amazing group of guys [00:05:00] right at this moment. And the same thing happens with, with them. And the more I talk to guys, the more this stuff gets get surface because it's prevalent.

[00:05:09] So know that you're not alone in these thoughts. And if you're putting on a front of being confident in the outside, But you're filled with doubts and overwhelm on the inside. You're definitely not alone in this and growing up, uh, this, this happens subconsciously. I, you know, I'm sure there's plenty of, uh, plenty examples that I can't even, I can't even recall, but there were plenty of things going through, you know, starting with high school that, you know, things that started to.

[00:05:35] You'll put my worth in these external things, these results that I got, or I didn't get in in some of that's the, you know, some of that's when I, when I did good in school, I got rewarded. I was, I was more liked when I, when you do good in sports here, you're more liked when you're. Uh, when you're around certain people then like in, you're not being yourself, but you're getting rewarded that way.

[00:05:54] That, that starts to put these self-limiting beliefs deep down of like, people want to see this version of me, but that's not really [00:06:00] true. That's I'm not living authentically to who I am, but it reinforces some of that. And it puts us down a bad path. Yeah. Some, some big examples, some, some small examples cut from a baseball team as a, as a sophomore.

[00:06:11] And I had a lot of friends on the baseball team. Those are some of my best friends and getting cut though. You end up spending, how many hours do you spend in a baseball season? That's hundreds of hours that I didn't get my friends and got a little alienated with them and you don't get to see them as much.

[00:06:26] And then you don't feel like. Who you are, is, uh, is as accepted. It's only because I was playing baseball. That's why, and now I'm, now I'm a failure. In that sense, I got cut from my baseball team, my senior year of football and high school being benched for a, uh, junior that, uh, you know, we look up to that senior year season for so long.

[00:06:44] You, you have these expectations of how it's going to be. You work so hard at that point. I guys, I. I busted. I busted my butt working for, for that starting spot. And then you get benched because there's someone more talented than you. And what does that do to your self worth? [00:07:00] Things that seem very silly in hindsight, but anyone that can relate to them, that's been there.

[00:07:05] The high school crush falls for your best friend. You know, those things that hurt, uh, hurt my worth. And I know a lot of, a lot of guys can hang on to those things of, you know, much more serious things than, than dealing with something like that. You're another example. I'm sure a lot of guys can relate with people love being around drunk, Dave, much more than sober Dave.

[00:07:21] This was something that played me through college, through PT school, putting on this, uh, No party party. And to a degree that's unhealthy because, well, when I'm drunk, people love, people love being around me. I'm funny. Like I can, I can get the girls. I can do these things when I'm, when I'm living that life.

[00:07:38] But you know, when I'm sober, people don't have the same thing to say to me. They don't, you know, they don't, uh, They don't think I'm as funny. They don't think I'm as that. So you start to play into, well, well, I have to, I have to drink more. I have to put myself in these situations to, uh, to make myself more accepted, to do those things.

[00:07:55] And I don't fully, I don't fully know. I don't fully pretend to know of how all these [00:08:00] things, you know, plagued. Confidence issues, plague things. As I got further into life as well, got married as we started a business, it started taking on life. I don't know how those things factored in, but I guarantee you those things and plenty of other things are things that.

[00:08:15] Are still were still haunting me to some degree until I actively started addressing on this. Like I said, this, this journey I've been on, especially over the last six months of really identifying these things and, uh, taking, taking those weeds out, pulling those weeds, identifying where they're coming from.

[00:08:30] Speaking, speaking truth into those, getting rid of those lies, those stories that told time and time again, that aren't even true. These things that get exaggerated and these can happen all sorts of forms. And I know there's varying degrees of this, but it's a, it's a very real thing. But I want to talk about a few solutions that have helped me.

[00:08:48] I have three, three, we'll call them power strategies, three power strategies that you can use to help fight these limiting beliefs and take your mindset to a new level. Because until we get rid of these weeds, then we're going to continue to be plagued by them. We're going to [00:09:00] continue to limit the growth of all the good that is in store for us.

[00:09:03] So the first strategy makes you, you know, your identity and that's who you really are. That's the things I talked about of when you're not authentic to who you are when you see yourself as. Only being liked in this certain thing, but it doesn't feel true to you. You have to know what being true to you is.

[00:09:18] And one way to do this is through a personal contract. Mine is I am a bold, authentic and accountable warrior of God. And that's something that I have to remind myself of regularly. That's something that is not just who I am today, but who is my ideal self. And that's what you need to ask yourself. These things should define you as your ideal person.

[00:09:38] Your ideal state of being who you are deep down and who you want to show up as every single day at your core. If you struggle, struggle with being a. An honest person that that should find its way into your contract. If you're not true to your word, that's a, that's an important thing. That's a self-limiting belief.

[00:09:53] If you struggle with confidence, throw that in there, find the contract that works for you, but identify something. It shouldn't be wordy. That shit doesn't have [00:10:00] to sound great to someone else. It's just has to resonate with you at your core. So the first thing that first strategy is know your identity, make that personal contract.

[00:10:08] The second thing affirm the truth. And this is something we tell ourselves lies. Those stories are not truth. Those stories of not being confident, not being good enough, not being funny, not being loved. Those things are all stories that we tell ourselves that are not embedded in truth. So we have to replace those lies with truth, because those stories you made up about yourself, about others, about how the world works.

[00:10:30] And a lot of this happens subconsciously. These don't actually hold any weight. And I love this. I heard this on another podcast. I think on Ed Mylett with, with John Gordon, he says we can listen to our thoughts or we can speak truth to them. How often are we just listening to our thoughts, listening to what's coming in, but not speaking truth to it.

[00:10:49] We're just, if we're just listening and just absorbing, then we're getting shot. These lies that the world tells us that, uh, that we're just hearing time and time again, these arrows that keep hitting us. So we have to choose [00:11:00] not to listen and choose to speak truth into them. And this can happen one or two ways.

[00:11:04] One is through, self-affirmation say things and say these things to the mirror, say these things every morning, have these no cards. I am bold. I am confident and patient, I am honest and loving. These types of things can seem silly. They seem kind of woo, woo. But yeah. If you want to, if you want to get rid of these things, you got to do some things that you haven't tried before.

[00:11:25] That the people that are really seeing these changes are doing, and these affirmations, hold, hold, wait, speak them to yourself enough times. And you're going to start to believe it. I don't know all the science behind it. I know it's worked personally. I know it's worked for so many of my coaching clients, so many other guys I've talked to and it's something that is worth implementing speak that truth.

[00:11:45] So that can come from yourself, but the other place is through truth outside of ourselves. And in our higher beliefs. For me personally, there's no better place to go than God's word for this. If you're struggling with worry about the future, Philippians four, six through seven [00:12:00] says, do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition with Thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ.

[00:12:12] Jesus. If you're struggling with a setback and how, how could this possibly turn around ahead the setback and work? I, this broken relationship, Romans eight, 28 says, and we know that in all things, God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose, all things out there, not just some things, not just, uh, the kind of bad things.

[00:12:32] Even the worst situations that we go through. God's work in ways that we don't know. And he's molding things together. He's, he's working on our behalf and it all is. For the good of his purpose. And we have to remember that those are that's outside truth. We can speak in if you're worried about what other people think of you.

[00:12:50] First Corinthians four, three through four says as for me, it matters very little how I might be evaluated by you or by any human authority. I don't even trust my own [00:13:00] judgment at this point, like consciousness clear, but that doesn't prove I'm right. Is the Lord himself who examined me and decide we're playing for an audience of one guys.

[00:13:08] And whether you believe in God, whether it's a higher belief of some other sort, you're not playing for the approval of others, you can't be playing for the approval of those around you, because they're going to continue to. Let you down, even the people you love, you can't put all your weight in that because what happens when that love isn't given the way that you want it to, then it can, it can crush you if you're not replacing it with something higher than that.

[00:13:32] Lastly, if you're struggling with confidence, Joshua one nine says this is my command. Be strong and courageous do not be afraid or discouraged for the Lord. Your God is with you wherever you go. Second, Timothy one seven says for God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power love. And self-discipline so there's some outside truth, some stuff that is.

[00:13:54] Written thousands and thousands of years ago, stuff that still rings true today that we can speak into [00:14:00] ourselves. So those affirmations from ourself, and then find that you'll find that higher power find that truth in God's word, that you can hang your head on. That's something that I don't expect everyone to have the same beliefs as I do.

[00:14:12] But man, I would not be where I am today without, without God's word, getting, getting me through the struggles, the lack of confidence, the doubts, the self-limiting beliefs. If you guys have any questions on that specifically, I would love to chat with you guys. My, my numbers right there in the show notes, make sure to reach out.

[00:14:29] If you guys have any questions, we can dive deeper into that. But the third strategy here is to make sure that we're covering this third piece after you've done those first two things. So you've. Uh, you identified who you are, your personal contract, you're affirming the truth. Last thing, surround yourself with the right trap.

[00:14:48] Surround yourself with the right people that are going to speak truth in you speak life into you, speak faith into you and give you a true reflection of who you are. Uh, heard this, uh, analogy from a mentor mine, Steve Weatherford. He [00:15:00] talks about someone who I get coaching from, and he talks about how, you know, we see ourselves in these kinds of like carnival distorted mirrors where it's, it's all fuzzy and reflection and we don't.

[00:15:09] We don't get a true reflection of who we are, but when you're around those right people, they see you for who you really are. They can speak that truth into you and they can lift you up when you need it and speak the truth. And do you see those best qualities? Not the, not those worse stories and worst qualities that you identify in yourself.

[00:15:25] They can speak a true reflection to you and they can. I'll lift you up when you need it the most. If you want, if you want to try and do it alone, I do not recommend it. I've been there. I've tried it, it doesn't work surrounding yourself with community is always a better option. So that's that third strategy, make sure you're surrounding yourself with the right trap.

[00:15:43] So guys today's take action takeaway for you guys. The one thing you can do find one of those three strategies that you need to work on. Those three power strategies. We talked about, know your identity. I have that personal contract, affirm the truth. Start speaking truth into it, and then surround yourself with the right tribe.

[00:16:00] [00:15:59] Find the area where you need it the most. And just take action. I'm putting that into practice today. Imagine being free of all these limiting beliefs that have previously held you back while moving to a thriving life, that's possible with the right mindset. And you can do this once you start to shed those limiting beliefs.

[00:16:16] Guys, I, I know this is, I know it will be helpful if you guys can take it and apply it. I appreciate you guys invest in yourself. So I appreciate you listening into this podcast for supporting yourself for, wanting to, to take the next step into that, that better life. And if you guys are really serious about taking your mindset to the next level, Let me in an amazing group of guys help you.

[00:16:36] It's still not too late to get into our six day challenge. We kicked off this week where I'm currently coaching a group of guys through a mindset mastery challenge, and kind of think this like a bootcamp for your mindset. It's already been an amazing couple of days, and this is something you don't want to miss.

[00:16:48] If you need some more specific guidance, support and accountability for myself and like-minded men, if you guys don't have that tribe, guys come along with us. You will get caught up in a hurry on [00:17:00] things you might've missed the first couple of days, but we all have access to all the recordings and you'll sign up still in time to get some of the live calls for the rest of the week.

[00:17:06] In joining that private group, we have, if you guys have questions on the challenge on this podcast or anything in there resonate with you, shoot me a text. My number is right there in the show notes, (760) 477-4361. Yes, guys. It's me. There'll be an automated message you get from it, but, uh, I'll be responding right back to you guys.

[00:17:24] If you guys do have any questions on that, make sure to reach out again. I appreciate all you guys. I appreciate invest in yourself. Go crush those self-limiting beliefs. And I will talk to you guys soon.

[00:17:34]Thanks for listening today, guys, unbelieving that even if you apply one thing from today's show, you're taking one step closer to living as the man you were made to be meaningful change doesn't happen overnight. So keep showing up and keep consistent every single day until good things start to happen.

[00:17:51] If you haven't already taken 60 seconds to write a review on whatever platform you're listening on, goes a long way in growing this podcast and reaching other men, just [00:18:00] like you, that are hungry for more in their life. Do you have any questions on today's show feedback or content you want to see more of shoot me a text.

[00:18:08] Yeah, text me (760) 477-4361 at (760) 477-4361. Let me know that you're listening to it. And so I can personally thank you for your support of myself and the show. That's it for today, guys, it's time to raise your standard for yourself. Stop settling for just getting by, go all in on your passions in the Lightroom made for a lot of you guys and talk to you soon.

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